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I'm still not going to fully be able to rest until I get those test results, though! I trust test results much more than I trust any guy to tell the truth =) I've been feeling sick for two weeks now which is extremely weird I don't usually get sick, let alone for this. And when I say sick I mean SICK. I've had to work a few times and I NEVER in. What's weird is it was actually two separate illnesses I first got sick for about days (this, I've read, is normal when you first contract -), then I got better for a couple days, then all the sudden a few days ago I became sick AGAIN. I'm still sick as a dog over here. So that's why my mind has been racing so much lately I've been afraid that maybe I contracted something even worse than. Of course it doesn't help that I forced myself to go out to not one but two Halloween parties over the course of the weekend (I've waited all YEAR for Halloween!). But I can't remember the last time I've felt so physiy exhausted and drained all I want is to be normal again =( sweet smart Bay Village Ohio looking for a genuine gentlemanIf I am abundantly clear and lay this right at their feet and walk away . what if they don't do it? What if they walk away, too? I'm not as cold and heartless as they are. I fear I couldn't live with myself. Allright. Time for reality. I've done this before, with someone. Still doing it. Only that time, the person had caused real personal and physical pain to me and my family. That person's own family disowned her, as well I was the last holdout. Me, alone. It took tremendous willpower and a bucket of guilt (my brother's keeper, your brother as I have loved you, and all that ), but I walked away. She's 88 years old, terrible health, living alone and handicapped. Key difference: This person had the means to hire whatever help she desired, and not one marble missing from her head so I knew she'd survive without me. I walked. I've often felt that life in this world is a training ground for better things to come. I think I have passed test #1 now perhaps it's time for test #2 on this same topic, only this time the challenge (overcoming guilt?) has been stepped up a notch. OR, I failed test #1, and this is a second to get it right. aaaarrrgggghhhh. Talking this out with you folks helps a bunch, really. I be blogging here, but it's therapy for me. Thanks for listening and offering ideas. dating agency london
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