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How not to be eaten by a Duck Avoid smearing yourself in stale breadcrumbs unless absolutely necessary. If threatened by a duck, climb a tree. Ducks, usually excellent climbers, refuse to share trees with anything. a large automatic weapon with you whenever walking past a river or pond. Become a microbiologist and develop a duck form of myxomatosis. Become an electronics whizz and build a battery-powered thingy that repels ducks by means of ultrasound. Become a physicist and repel ducks. And everything. a tin whistle in your shirt pocket or handbag and practise duck-charming techniques to buy time to escape, should you be threatened. Move to Siberia. As far as I know, no ducks live near there. If you can't beat them, join them: Whilst ducks be vicious, they are civilised creatures and the idea of cannibalism disgusts them. Rather than just getting another pullover from your granny next Christmas, ask her for a duck costume instead. Do everything in your car. Eat in it, sleep in it, perhaps even travel in it. Never leave your car. Remember to check it for ducks first. Go on a safari holiday to Africa, go to the lions and jump out of the Land Rover into the middle of a hungry pride. I'd like to a duck try to reach you then. Contract Anorexia Nervosa and wear tight clothing to make sure the ducks realise they'd be wasting their time eating you. Sneak onto the set of a film about the middle ages and steal some chain mail. Ask God to reconsider whether they were worth putting on the planet in the first place. Be polite. Make friends with lots of plump, tasty-looking people. about with them all the time, after making sure you can run faster than all of them. Do not mistake ducks for geese. Geese allow themselves to be petted and stroked and even hand-fed whilst ducks take your arm off at the first available opportunity. plus size hot horny womenIt's nice. It's a rambling, falling-down old wreck of a house with lots of charm and on a multi-parcel lot, so lots of land for the area, next to a creek, next to a state park greenbelt We have chickens, ducks, geese, cats, a named Cocoa, 3 Indian ringneck parrots, cockatiels, lovebirds, fantail pigeons and that's it*)! We had a lovely Nigerian dwarf goat named, a hermphrodite, who was my, I adored him, and we used to take him on walks to the ocean which is 5 blocks away- but my ex-husband reported him to zoning and we were forced to get him a new home. Anyway, no, not a condo, not an apartment And all our animal companions are spoiled rotten Our geese are Sebastopol geese, they look like swans with curly feathers- they are Goliath, their daughetr Trixie (named after Trixie Belden) Ducks- the male Pekin, the Magpie duck, Nemo the Indian Runner, the daughters of Chickens- the, Frannie the white Frizzle, the black frizzles, the white silkie, the auburn silkie, Morgaine the silver phoenix, Pie the grey white Polish Crested, and Claus the white Polish Crested (- for short) Tandoori chicken died Cake, Cosmo Elphie are the Indian ringnecks, Chicken is a cockatiel who boks like a chicken, Lovey Dovey Duggar are the lovebirds and we have a male pair of fantail pigeons- (pronounced -!) Cats, I gotta go or I'd write them out, but we have cats and Cocoa the and we them all- horny black ladies
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