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the full context is that the poster asked you not to breed "until she is dry for a year or more." much what I said, in fact. Relatively few people popped off with the opinion you should NEVER breed. Ignore those, and pay attention to the real substance. The trouble here is that she has a serious drinking problem, even though she does not drink every day. She's a binge drinker. There are enough people here with experience either being or dating or living with alcoholics or users that we can say firmly: this is unlikely to work right now. If you break up on the grounds of her drinking, she is face to face with the consequences of her choices. She can then either continue her downward spiral because her "friends" encourage it, or wake up and decide she doesn't want to lose all at a life with you or a good life in general, and go to AA and sober up. Incidentally, this also gives you time to get over the idea that lying and snooping are easy ways to resolve your own problems in relationships. I agree that people shouldn't be lightly dismissed as easily replaceable. However, neither should they be kept in relationships with you in the presence of genuine dealbreakers. Uncontrollable binge drinking and lying are dealbreakers in most people's books. horney adult AnzhulAdvice from my tipsy impassioned Mother, usually a staid PhD historian social anthropologist (my mother is truly not an alkie or an abuser, she does not drink every day and gets blotto on 2 glasses of wine) to my then 3 year old daughter who was throwing a tantrum while visiting her in LA years back and happened to be holding a little doll. "Let out your anger, -! THROW THE DOLL!!! THROW THE DOLL AGAINST THE WALL!!!" Luckily for her future imprinting of mothering skills, my then 3 year old just stared at my mother in disbelief and shock and held her doll tight- and shut up completely!!!!!! GO MOM*)! She actually tried to take the doll from and show her how to throw it (BAM!) against the wall, and then, of course, started crying again. *sigh* Whenever my Mom gets really pompous and intellectually arrogant my brother or I softly say in sotto voice, "Throw the doll against the wall, Mom!" to humble her- over 40 swingers
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