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So, I return to the forum for perspective. I have been through hell and back over the last years since I first heard "I filed for divorce today, just FYI". It has really been the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with, mostly because I have refused to recognize the person I was dealing with was inherently evil. I don’t say that lightly because it reflects as much on me as it does on them. That being said, I am on the cusp of thriving. Realization of the true person is within my grasp, but still struggling with thoughts that perhaps somehow, some way I can glue it all back together. I am not the person to a therapist but recent events (- attempted reconciliation) have brought a raging current of emotions which I had successfully buried have come raging back after failure. So I went, and was forced into the realization that this continue to be an epic struggle until they are out of college. In any case, I was told to write down all my thoughts in a letter that I never intend to send, but after writing it and reading the overwhelming justification contained, I cant help but feel I have earned the right to send it. Probably a bad idea, but cant get it out of my head. The offending party keeps knocking me down at every opportunity, and perhaps the view from my POV help either force them to realize what they have done to destroy my life over the last 5 years or at least get it off my chest. In addition to that, I have been presented an opportunity to take a 2-3 year assignment abroad. I have refused similar opportunities due to my considerable parenting schedule (near 50%, but with the full CS nut). The are a little older now and are now engaged in activities which make the schedule difficult. I think it be time to catapult my career and stop foregoing huge opportunities. My foundation with my has been built and is solid, no doubts there. It just seems I keep taking the path of most resistance. Any thoughts or advice?? i know this is a very long shotthe that has been in our lifes for 2 years and has taken care of her is her daddy. My 8 yo i think is finally getting tired of the bs and getting tired of being dissapointed. You did get the most important thing. LET THEM FIGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN is absolutely right. I live by that. My ex just got out of treatment (alcohol) 2 weeks ago. I was supervising the visits (= trying to be nice letting him the every saturday) when I was not working from november to end of march. He last saw them on /09. YEah he would once a week but he would end up bs'ing with me cause were doding this or doing that and all they'd say was hi and bye. What gets me is that he didn't think of writing like he did during the first 30 days (lockdown). Then he gets out 2 weeks ago and starts ing 6 or 7 times a days. (gonna use it against me in court somehow go figure). I have always been honest with my trying not to badmouth his father but my 8 yo knows what his father has done and is now figuring it out. On saturday a relative ed me saying my ex was trashing me saying I was not letting him talk to the. I let my speak to that relative and to my shock I heard my say "tell my dad it's not mom, it's my choice I don't want to talk to him right now. As I am typing I am laying down resting after having a fullblast panic attack with chest pains because of what my ex is doing to us (my fault I let it get to me in part). I am so tired of seeing the suffer sometimes I wish he would just walk out of their lifes for their own good hot men and women
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