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looking for grey actually raven got under my skin too. I think this is dating back to a time when there was very little law and order. Just like dogs were actually filthy, there was little to prevent men from from using their physical strength to just take whatever they wanted. Now we have expectations that men should have a measure of self control such that they do not impose themselves on others. We have laws to back this up, and prison sentences for those who can't or won't control themselves. Back in a time when there wasn't much governance aside from local leaders and religious organization, I think this law was a way of bringing some peace into society, and it was one of the few proactive measures they could take. Basiy, the women were very put-upon already, and they just wanted to be left in peace to care for their families. Our standards of freedom are very different now. I think at the time, having all women cover themselves in an effort to reduce incidents of violence in conjunction with punishing men who commit acts of violence against other people. There are passages condemning men who commit acts of violence too. Now the hijab is out of it's old context, but women are finding it relevant to them is a new context of modern society. I find it really interesting. Burlington adult personals
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feel for you. I don't have any advice on how to handle the marriage aspect of this situation and it looks like you have gotten quite a few suggestions already. BUT, I do have some thoughts on how you can atleast improve things for yourself NOW. Moving to a new place, away from friends and family is difficult. I have been there! The good news is you guys have some financial freedom. If I was in this particular situation, I would start by finding a charitable cause that appeals to you and volunteer. Battered women's shelter, soup kitchen, walking dogs at the shelter - for a rescue group (cats, dogs?), volunteer to read to at the hospital, you get the idea. Find something to get involved in that benefits people who are less fortunate than you. There are PLENTY. I donate to a fantastic organization that helps rescue under aged girls from sexual slavery and have been writing to one of them for 2 years now in an effort to help her learn English (so easy, takes literally minutes out of my month). Set aside a certain amount out of each check that you are both comfortable with and donate to the cause you choose. Then, take up a hobby. Or two! What do you enjoy doing? Hiking, running, yoga, horseback riding, reading, cooking, scrapbooking? find a group in your area and joint it to find like minded people. You are bound to find some friends that way. Pay for a friend or family member to fly out and spend a few days with you. Take a mini vaca and go visit them. Start hosting a dinner once a month for your husbands work associates and their wives. Ask him to think of a couple of two that you guys can reach out to on a social level and plan an evening together. I know this won't "solve" your problems, but I think it would go a ways towards making you more satisfied with your current situation. Life is what you make of it, so utilize the resources you have and enjoy the ride. Hopefully this also help you and your DH reconnect as well. Being happy with yourself can go a ways towards improving your relationship as well. Best of luck! xxx girls with Ellsworth
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