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You had the option of living apart. Does that suck swampwater? Yes. But it is feasible for a short term? In theory, yes. You could have sent him to Iowa to get life started while you closed down your life more to your liking. (hear me out) That would have made the transition a *bit* easier, even though you didnt want to move in the first place. Now, he did not HAVE to accept the job. He didnt. But then he also would have been shooting you both in the foot. Better to take the job and make money, than to lose your roof because there just isnt enough money from your job. He have been a bit selfish in packing you up and moving you across the earth from Egypt to Iowa, but he did so because in this economy, and the recession they are trying(and failing) to say is over, a job is a good thing to have. You can always fly home to Egypt to visit family and friends, visit old haunts. But having a income that reduces stress is priceless. You can also choose to look at this as an adventure. It is a to re-invent yourself. Get a new hair-do, a new wardrobe. Take a on a completely different career path you always wanted to try? You have the stuff you can fall back on for a stable career, right? Take this as a positive, even if how you go there sucks. What you make of it matters to how you look at the future in Iowa. lookin for a mateGet hold of yourself!! It's time to get past the feeling sorry for yourself. I was married almost 25 years. I understand being ALL ALONE during the divorce process. But I also now am seeing that I am free to discover who I am, without him. Maybe you need to do that. Let go, and appreciate who you are. Maybe he didn't appreciate who you are, but you should. And if you don't, then start being someone that you like to be with, so you can have some peace with yourself. Also, be sure that you're not dealing with depression, because it sounds like you might be. Sometimes medication helps, like it did for me, but sometimes you just need to start making more positive decisions and CHOOSE to move forward. don't act on how you feel, act on how you want to be. If you want to look confident tomorrow when you your almost-ex, then ACT it. AND, you're going for your -'s activity, right? not for your ex. So concentrate on your, and his happiness, and how proud you are of him, channel your energies into only him. It takes work. real work. I know. But don't shortchange your and your attention to him because you're distracted by how you feel about your ex. and okay, he has a girlfriend. He moved on, that doesn't make you less of a person. Stop letting him control you by allowing him to have control of your feelings. You are in control of your life, and every choice you make. don't give that control to him, or his girlfriend. And it's time to find some friends. I actually answered a post for another woman looking for friends because she was also going through a divorce. We are very different, but our loneliness brought us together and now I have a to do stuff with and commiserate with and its much better for me. So you need to just get off your 'boo-hoo' stool, and dry your tears, and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Find something to be happy about. A beautiful day, a roof over your head, a great, a steady job. whatever it takes. Stop looking outside for validation, and validate yourself from the inside out!! And maybe get some counseling!! and learn how to start living alone, without feeling bad about it. Good luck to you oh, and finding and with a spiritual life helps too. Some people say its a crutch, but if your leg or heart or anything is broken, a crutch helps. :) wants for a life time relationship
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