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In my divorce we sold a beautiful home in a very nice area. Afterward I bought something in my budget, in a much less area, at a time when the housing market was sky high. It's a house I could afford at the time. There are lots of rental houses around, it's a transitional neighborhood. That sucks, it takes time to find peace with downsizing and living in a not as desirable area. Life goes on, trying to raise my, we took in a dog and cat, etc. We've had neighbors who were really good people, and some that were awful. Some neighborhood often ended up here at my house to play, it seemed like a stable place for them in a time of turmoil at home. Other came over who were new to the area from out of state, and they were glad to have a friend. The bad neighbors are a drag, no kidding, and we are mindful and watchful about them. Some bullied my, and the bi-polar guy next door has flipped out a couple of times at home and cops were ed by his gf. I gave the across the street an old baseball bat because she was concerned about those and other incidents. Over the years I've done some painting, installed a fan, upgraded light fixtures, curtains, planted a lot of shrubs, trees, whatever I want to do. One day this probably be a rental house, or I'll sell it and get something. Maybe one thing I needed to learn is that the house does not define who I am. It's the other way around the house reflects who I am, it look as good or bad as I make it. I'm glad the house was a blessing to who needed some friends. I'm glad for a few good neighbors. Since you are 40 yo then there is a good you'll have another home in the future. In the meantime, it might help for you to think about ways to trick out your house the way you want it to be, make your house a home. Find those good neighbors and have them over for a glass of wine once in awhile. And over time your house feel more like a home. I you find peace with the move and this transition. new to San Juan and searching for friends
I've just been thinking a lot, thanks to the fork in the road I'm faced with in my own career. Except the fork in question looks like one of those multiple weiner-roasting trees advertised in camping departments. I'm finding more and more a need to choose carefully my compatriots, whether at work or in life in general based on having that much-ballyhooed examined life. While I don't doubt most people are just doing their best, I'm definitely hitting a variety of limits when it comes to dealing with people who move like tornados, where they blow in and just leave a trail of wreckage in their wake. This is in contrast with people who enter unfazed, assess the situation, and start putting things aright. I also find myself paying very close attention to exactly what it is I have to share and contribute, and requiring the same awareness from those around me. Seems obvious, but it s into question how best to manage various relationships while still maintaining personal integrity and an open hand in dealings with others. And while most people are never % either/or, I do find myself asking: Are you a tornado or a sphere of calm? Are you a giver or a taker? If I help you and always give you my best, you be there for me as well? Lord knows I've had lots of occasion lately to just flat out say "It's time to grow up and make decisions as befits a functional adult." But I can't do that, so I have to find other ways to deal with what's on my plate, while doing my best to do right by those who recognize the importance of giving, and what's being given. lonely bbw in Canajoharie villageI am not sure if I am making too much of this. I am very disturbed. My husband of 20 years decided that he wanted to clear out our yard of the overgrown trees, etc. It wound up being more expensive than he thought and he asked me for a substantial amount of money to finish the job, money I was going to use for my -'s graduation party and to buy items around the house. He said not to worry about it, we'd get the party done. He knew I was having a slow month money wise, as well (I work for myself). So I gave it to him. I paid for the party myself. I found out after the party that he gave a friend a wedding gift of more than and his mother a birthday gift of half of what I had given him. He did not attend the wedding btw and his mother never said thank you to me until he told her to do so (which is another story). I feel betrayed and disgusted with him. any feedback? naughty girl
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