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You are doing it wrong, either way. What people want is not what they need. They don't know what they need. That's why somebody is supposed to tell them. But nobody dares. Or they don't listen. They NEVER listen. What somebody wants is whatever they have been told to want. Whatever is the fad of the moment. Look around. Do you imagine what some people end up with is what they thought they were getting? People unconsciously try to recreate their family of origin. They don't all know that. If they didn't enjoy and respect their born family, they think they want something different, and so they go for what appears to be different. But after a while, the novelty wears off and they try to make the foot fit the shoe. You are the foot. Find a whose mother you resemble, in attitudes and values. If he hated his mother, of course, he hate you too, in time. He have to resemble YOUR father. If your father bailed on your family at some point, or if your mother saw him as irrelevant, you only be comfortable with that scenario, too. So you can why things tend to turn out as they do. And where is that so-ed "MSW" on here who ought to be telling you all this? Passing out lollipops in the drunk-tank again, I guess. blonde dating Geneva
the to have "extras" you foot the. You don't expect someone to foot the for something you want them to have. If your ex wanted the to have "extras" he pays for it. If you can't afford it, then you cut back other areas so that you can. Simple as that. And he's paying more than $ a month. Medical isn't cheap so he's already paying more than $ a month. Imagine what it cost you if he wasn't paying the medical. My take is , no one should pay CS. He pays you $ a month. Whatcha gonna do when the are grown and you no longer get that? pussy over 40 WoodpeckerKal, This insecurity issue is ruining your quality of life. This relationship or not last but you be dealing with yourself forever. Based on your posts, you are a bit sensitive about things, including comments from strangers on a message board. I had a therapist tell me something one time that really stuck with me when I was younger and struggling very hard with similar issues to yours. It is none of my business what people think of me. No one can guarantee their lover won't cheat. However, by constantly looking for it, by keeping that as your view of the world, you almost welcome that into your life. Try expecting the best. From yourself, from your boyfriend, by everyone. It won't feel comfortable or natural. It is, after all, a different reality than the one you've embraced until now. But act as if until you are. In reality, life isn't all good or all bad. It's a mixed bag and balance is needed. I hate that you won't a therapist, talking it out seems to allow logic a foot in the door. However, a small shift in your perspective (OK, a big shift) might make a world of difference in your quality of life and your confidence. Guess what? Confidence is sexier than anything physical. I you feel better and I am sorry you are hurting. However, knowing you have this issue and wanting to solve this issue at your age speaks volumes about you. You have the maturity and insight to understand the issue and the compassion to know others shouldn't suffer because of your issues. That makes you rather wonderful. So, you have lots of wonderful inside, now let it run around a bit and what the carefree side of life won't do for you for a while. Feel better. :) naughty swingers
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