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So I am cleaning out my desk and I find this sweetly worded postcard from. "I never got your last name but you changed my life for the better!" It also said that we met at the Bar on Castro. Ok now if he knew my address but not my last name and we met at that sleazy meat market, I assume that we must have had drunk sex. Now I don't know how perfectly well intentioned relationships have been ruined by drunk sex but I I never do it again!!! I am thinking this to myself in the car on our way to our horseback riding date today. "Here is this good looking, wealthy Italian who is really well dressed and if he hadn't sent that postcard I wouldn't even remember him!" I scolded myself (silently). "How other perfectly good men have I lost because of alcohol?" I found out the answer to that too quickly: zero. It turns out that he was the only one to be doing the horseback riding. I was just supposed to watch in awe and wonderment while he had his horseback riding lesson! I even skipped breakfast so that I would not be late, hoping we would go out to lunch afterwards but he had other plans and I wasn't in them! It gets better, I mean worse: He had also invited this other to drive us who just happened to be 10 time more attractive and even had a better body. If I were more trashy I would have been hitting on him. After he starts his riding lesson, I asked the cute if he wanted to go and get a cup of coffee and I needed a muffin to soak up the acid from my first cup of coffee. He was really nice and I am surprized that I didn't try to pick him up. I just felt that was so wrong because I had gone with the other guy who was really just a stranger. Neither one of us remembered the drunk sex night. Now as I think about how egotistical he is, the sex must have been really bad, explaining why I had forgotten him completely. Then I got home, starving and made a BLT which you know is only good while the bacon is hot. One of my computer clients' unemployed boyfriend ed and bitched me out for not working for free. That ruined my meal. I am just having a few beers now, thinking about how much fun it is going to be a cruel as hell cop. (I have an interview tomorrow morning at 7:45 sharp). any guys want to have a good timeFree at Last! Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for years and have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss ed to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't me anymore, whatever the case, I'm gone.. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West together! Have a great life! Your Ex-Wife Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a -!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork years ago. I went to sleep when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I discovered I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter, you won't get a dime from me.. I don't know if I ever told you this but, my brother was born. I that's not a problem. Signed, Free at Last! lonely mature
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