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i am looking for what Really, girlfriend? You don't think you need marriage counseling, and yet, you're on here because ALL that talking has been SOOO effective right? You guys are hitting a patch that's typical of couples with families not enough time in the day to enjoy your family, and life isn't exactly what you thought it would be. However, here's the difference: You aren't married, and so you feel like there's an "out" clause that you could take advantage of if he doesn't shape up. If you're going to play house, then play it for keeps. You've got a, and that ups the ante significantly. If he has suggested marriage counseling GO. Pick up the phone, get some recommendations (from a minister, pastor or some other trusted person), make an appointment, and just do it. You guys need some help communicating effectively. Consider it your pre-marriage counseling. :-) You've both been talking quite a lot, but I have the feeling neither one of you are LISTENING too well. You might need some help on effective negotiations, etc. A pro can help you both learn how to talk so that the other one HEARS what you are saying. Right now you are both tuning each other out. I understand he works, but I'm with you how hard is it to put a plate away? That's just a bit on the lazy side. Did his mom work? Did she wait on him hand and foot? In our family, if I cooked, hubby cleaned, and vice versa. If I was cooking, HE had care watch, and vice versa. Your fiance' be trainable but it sounds like you've been a bit of a doormat, too, along the way. No way my husband would get HIS feet rubbed if he had been rude to me, belittled my housekeeping and had shafted me with the cooking AND clean-up! What in the hell are you, a geisha? If he's not happy with the state of the housework, then you and he need to come up with a plan that gets it done in a fair and equable manner. Check out for suggestions on housekeeping chores, schedules and techniques, come up with a list that makes sense for you and your family, and come to the table with a plan. He might be working all day, but guess what so are you. Toddlers are non-stop. "Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." Stop being a doormat and take some proactive measures to improve things before they get too far out of hand.
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