Are you the crazy stalker type, emotionally unavailable. To busy with your ex or your job, not over the past, lies habitually, thinks text messaging is dating..
Then you are NOT what I need..
But if this list piqued your interest.. Then maybe. Please DO NOT be married, I believe in Karma..
I do not always wear my seatbelt.
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses (until there
is no one looking)
I'll make you laugh
I can make a mean pot of chili, killer soup
I know how to laugh at myself
I do not know how many licks it takes to get to the center
of a tootsie roll pop
I'll take care of you when you're sick
I'll make fun of you
If you need help with anything, I am there
I take a bath every day, twice even sometimes
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I would do just about anything for my family and friends
When you wash the dishes it turns me on
I'll save everything you ever give me
I won't ever forget your birthday and will remind you
when mine is coming
You just can't stop reading this!
I'm pretty cute
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
My kisses will take your breath away
you will not care if I leave my socks on
My weird habits you'll find adorable
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'll never waste your love
I'll need help finding my keys and cell
I will ask for directions for you
I eat red meat
I'll help clean the house every time your parents come
over
My family is just as dysfunctional as yours
I smell good most of the time
I don't litter
I am great with kids
I'm really good at sneaking food into the movies
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there
really is
I know how to cook
I don't cry over spilt milk (or wine)
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I don't overload the washer
I've never auditioned for American Idol
You're getting very sleepy..
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If you are not getting what you need on the intimate side of your marriage, are looking for something more without drama and Discretion is important to you, then maybe I can help. If you understand the Value of someone who appreciates the parts of you that your partner doesn't and are looking for a lady who will not judge you for your desires and the need to balance your life without disrupting it, then I am definitely interested in hearing from you. Please be over 35 and married. Tell me what you need and what you have to offer. I have some needs as well.
If you have physical preferences that are important in a friend, then please include them in your response.
Three word and one line responses, photos of your penis or requests to text you will NOT get a response. Yes, I am real and no I don't have a website to send you to.
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