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First, you find the occasional relationship with someone who is dramatiy older than you that works. We all know someone who's done it, my own sister is very happy with her BF who is 11 years older than she is. He is a good, and they fit well. However, -/December relationships that work well in the term are the exception, not the rule and it sounds like you have built up a pattern of this, not just that one random guy was perfect for you and happened to be older. In general, older men want very women (girls really) of your age because they want someone they can control, or someone who is not powerful enough to stand up to them. Or maybe they're attracted to really girls and they want to trade their model in every few years for a new hot thing. In any case, at your age I would not date anyone that is more than 4-5 years older than you. You change a LOT in your 20's. I was very mature for my age, very responsible and I thought that when I graduated college at 22 I was grown up. Little did I know that at 30, I would feel like a totally different person. Right now is the time to get to know yourself, work on your education and future so that you have choices, and meet lots of different men. With regards to meeting and being attracted to men who are taken, don't do that. Make a point to figure out of guys are dating someone or married, and if they are, simply don't out with them alone and don't let yourself develop feelings. Believe me, I've gotten an errant crush or two on a taken guy, but when I find out they're taken I work hard to turn it off, and I don't put myself in lots of situations around them so that I can get over it. There are good guys out there, they are not all taken, and they are not all after one thing. The trick is weeding through the creepy guys until you find them. Where do you usually meet men? If it's in a bar or club, your chances of meeting a nice guy are slimmer than they would be at your school or in the library or a church group or a volunteer organization. Also try and figure out if you initially get the hots for bad boys or dangerous vibe guys. There are some great guys out there who are looking for nice women too. woman seeking couple Birmingham Alabama
I think this is a concern that always arises with a forum like this one: how cozy does it need to be? This is getting into a whole 'nother controversy, I personally find disheartening the degree to which newbies in the fo with bumbling questions get pounced on and laughed at. As a public forum on a very public website with a public goal of fostering broad-based online communities, I think this is a space that should be open to the hapless and confused even those who haven't learned their online politesse yet or who confuse kinkiness with sluttiness or make other newbie mistakes (as opposed to overt rudeness or personal ad spam). I try to answer questions even dumb ones seriously, because maybe I'm helping someone out there be a little more informed, safer and kinkier. And I feel similarly about the community event postings. No, we don't know the DSF poster. Yes, it's possible that at this event, all attendees are locked in a room and fed starchy foods until they become DSF cult zombies. But I trust that adults can decide for themselves what they think of the organization by doing some further research, or by just going and checking it out for themselves. If it's awful, they'll find out, and probably not be too terribly harmed these are ads for events, not ads from scary McDoms. They get some misinformation, sure, but DSF hardly would have a monopoly on that. I personally feel like this forum and the regs in it should make an effort to be open to outsiders. seeking an Dearborn guyfeel for you. I don't have any advice on how to handle the marriage aspect of this situation and it looks like you have gotten quite a few suggestions already. BUT, I do have some thoughts on how you can atleast improve things for yourself NOW. Moving to a new place, away from friends and family is difficult. I have been there! The good news is you guys have some financial freedom. If I was in this particular situation, I would start by finding a charitable cause that appeals to you and volunteer. Battered women's shelter, soup kitchen, walking dogs at the shelter - for a rescue group (cats, dogs?), volunteer to read to at the hospital, you get the idea. Find something to get involved in that benefits people who are less fortunate than you. There are PLENTY. I donate to a fantastic organization that helps rescue under aged girls from sexual slavery and have been writing to one of them for 2 years now in an effort to help her learn English (so easy, takes literally minutes out of my month). Set aside a certain amount out of each check that you are both comfortable with and donate to the cause you choose. Then, take up a hobby. Or two! What do you enjoy doing? Hiking, running, yoga, horseback riding, reading, cooking, scrapbooking? find a group in your area and joint it to find like minded people. You are bound to find some friends that way. Pay for a friend or family member to fly out and spend a few days with you. Take a mini vaca and go visit them. Start hosting a dinner once a month for your husbands work associates and their wives. Ask him to think of a couple of two that you guys can reach out to on a social level and plan an evening together. I know this won't "solve" your problems, but I think it would go a ways towards making you more satisfied with your current situation. Life is what you make of it, so utilize the resources you have and enjoy the ride. Hopefully this also help you and your DH reconnect as well. Being happy with yourself can go a ways towards improving your relationship as well. Best of luck! executive dating service
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