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"I have two small (boys) and a 12 year old step daughter. Up until a few days ago I had been living with my husband until I found he was rpinting out internet porn of underage girls. He says they are supposedly 18 but they barely look older than 15, perhaps even a little younger. I left. We had problems a few years ago with internet porn when I found it after 5 years of marriage and also found out he had a intense fetish. Now I am confused about what to do. I am living temporarily with his parents, but I am concerned that he be into younger girls. Am I being stupid, and maybe they really are 18 and just look extremely youg? Or if they look extremely, like early teens, they probably are? He admitted he thought they were but insists they are 18." "they barely look older than 15, perhaps even a little younger", "- intense fetish" Why do you say it was a fetish? Was that cliniy diagnosed or are you trying to make more out of it than it is. You are upset that he doesn't find you attractive and are looking to blame it on his having some sort of sick mental problem. Instead, think about your. don't disparage their father so you can get your revenge. You have to prove up the age of the women in those images and that it was a fetish or be subject to his lawsuit against you (which he need to do to clear his name). just looking for a sweet man with good valuesIt is what it is. You've confessed, you've apologized, you're doing the work necessary to figure out why you do the things you do, and to clarify what you want/need from a relationship. It's time to stop groveling. He's upset, and it's going to take more than a few sweet words and knocking yourself out being super-nice to him to make up for it. In the end, it not matter how sorry you are or how committed you are. You broke a basic trust, and some people just can't get past that. You can't change what happened. The only thing you have control over at this point is how you choose to behave in the future. Either he'll decide he wants to stay, or he'll choose to go. Frankly, if he's not going to counseling with (or without) you, that's a bit of a red. Stop begging for him to observe your upcoming anniversary. If you want to observe it, go ahead but do not make this a "make it or break it" line in the sand. You say you want "atta girls", some acknowledgement that you're trying. No, you don't. You want him to get over his disappointment and anger and appreciate all the work you're doing. Not gonna happen. You're going to have to be satisfied with your own efforts, and stop looking for outside validation. It's not going to be fun, and it's not going to be easy. Suck it up. (PS: I you're avoiding your sister through all of this.) lonely wife
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