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- asexual and kinkless, which shifted to radical lesbian feminist separatist and kinkless (you know, where orgasms come from the bliss of imagining a utopia populated by women holding hands and singing near and ferron songs in perfect -), which shifted to lesbian feminist submissive in training (extreme yet extremely desexualized immersion into the world of bdsm; submission and dissociation went hand-in hand, so submission could take on a very performative feel; NB: dissociation went hand-in-hand with all sorts of benign, day-to-day things), which shifted to longterm kinkless and monogamous lesbian relationship, which shifted to immersion in trauma recovery work and celibacy with everyone other than myself, which included a great deal of fantasy work, which then shifted to kinkless sexual exploration with men, which shifted to hardcore and heavily sexual D/s relationship/exploration/experiences with a in which i learned to identify and seek and engage the pursuit/satisfaction of pleasure (idiosyncratiy bundled in physical, metal and emotional terms), and which served to burn away the last lingering effects of trauma that no amount of talk therapy would ever touch, which led to a sense of independence, womanliness, curiosity and sexual agency wherein i am most keenly turned on by the thought of thoroughly kinked up play that falls outside the rubric of D/s power exchange. so. in hypercompressed sum: the thoroughly imbricated, non-causal, ourobourotic relationship between the complete shaking up of the sno-globe of my erotic/sexual orientation/identification/attractions and years of hardcore digging around in the muck of my psyche to eradicate or transmute every last shred of evidence of trauma-born terror. must launch into my day, check back later horny large women
She was involved with a married who you knew/ were friendly with, and you knew his wife kid too (not sure if I'm remembering that all correctly). And I think I remember you sayin that her having this affair with this guy became a bit of a repellant for you, in terms of your finding her attractive. You struck up your friendship/ relationship back in the states, before she moved away. I'm going to go with what I believe was the basic line of argument in my advice to (what I remember as) your original post: A while back, your gut told you something important about this woman and you kept your distance as a result. Now, however, after getting yourself knee-deep in her problems and such (as I it), you now feel a sort of sense of duty to her. But the thing is, your listening to her problems hasn't actually helped her to begin to resolve anything. Meaning, she's still acting out on all the problems she's already told you that she has. And that's because her 'confiding' in you wasn't therapy it wasn't her doing any work on herself what is was, was a process of her telling you who she is. And if you step back from that for a second, from the sentiment that came from those talks, you'll likely that the things she's told you jive with the things you *sensed* about her however so ago (when she was having that affair and you didn't find her attractive). And I'm guessing all this because, here you are, saying you need to break up with her now, and not too after your original post (what's it been, like a month? Maybe a lil more?). So, the way I it: You got sucked in, the same way the other guy(s) have. And I think now, once and for all, you should listen to yor gut and stand down on this one walk away, you don't have a duty here. You have even been/ are being manipulated by her (it's hard to say, though, because I don't know her). massage candles are funin leash play and caging I think I could really get into it in the right circumstances. I also have a bit of interest in objectification and humiliation, such as eating dinner at the table while she has hers on the floor that sort of thing. Not sure if I explore it or not there is a lot on my bucket list, and this isn't anything we have discussed as yet. online dating married
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