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just stop all contact with the mystery woman. If you feel you're "broken," what makes you think you're in any position to be in a relationship with anyone? She wants to change but the continues because you accept it. I can't imagine a counselor wouldn't have advised both of you about this, unless you're not sharing a detail about YOUR behavior??? Draw your boundary and tell your wife what you no longer put up with or you have to walk away. She has to know the consequences. But whatever you choose to do, sneaking off to have emotional sex with your old flame is deceitful and the wrong way to leave a relationship. The emotional footprints you leave behind have a ripple effect on others in life and you have that on your conscience. If you're planning to end the relationship, do it with and dignity. Start a new relationship after you've healed and done you're "me work." Phenix City Alabama personal sexToday i filed for divorce after 23 years, 11 months or marriage. High school sweethearts, now in our early 40's. I sex, so that wasn't the issue.. he didn't want it, and that wasn't the issue. He wanted someone yeah thats the issue. 5 years ago he fell in with someone he met through work. I caught him 1 yr after they got together, and he swore he would break it off, so I let him stay. 6 months after that, i caught him again. He swore it was only a phone.. 2 months later he told me he was unsure if he could ever get over her.. and went away for a weekend to "think" about it. He thought about it, and HE decided he wanted to date her while staying married to what his feelings were for her. I told him he was insane, and there was no way I was going to stick around for that. He broke it off with her again. That lasted maybe 2 more months. But I didn't catch him again until it had been almost exactly a year from first time. So like, 5 times that year.. that time i kicked him out. he broke it off with her again, and swore that was it, he was going to dedicate himself to working on our marriage. Of course by now, I have severe trust issues.. how the hell can i trust him after so times? But I tried.. I tried to let it go, and be everything he wanted, and shower him with and affection. Things seemed to be going okay, but last year, started downhill again. I tried to trust.. but then 4 months ago, he started treating me like crap again.. like he did when he loved someone.. so i finally forced myself to start checking up on him again. yeah, I caught him again. same woman, 2 years and 10 months after he moved back home. When i confronted him, he admitted they had actually been back together for 2 years. So.. he's basiy been cheating on my for the past 5 years So I was filing for divorce. He asked for legal separation, and I found out i can amend separation to divorce at any time so I did that, I don't want to fight, I just want this to end. My question is, how do I get over this I have poured myself into for almost 24 years? we have 2 grown, but I am by no means old, and I want a forever companion. I signed up for the forever, till death do us part package not this thing I have now. When is it safe to begin looking again, without burdening a new relationship with my baggage? bondage personals
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