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Lying to myself I keep telling myself that it will get easier and that every day I am getting a bit stronger. For the record I am getting really good at lying to myself. Waking up around 6, as I do nearly every morning these days; my head full of you and the foolish notion that I might hear a certain sound in the distance, I knew I should probably start my day. After all, once memories of us start flooding my brain, sleep is a distant memory. Since I knew that you would not be walking through my door and needing some music , I turned on my phone only to hear a song about needing you now (a song I have avoided at all costs for months). It was then that I buried my head in my pillow..funny after all these months it still smells like you. Hell, I even put Diet Coke in my drink this morning, as if it was the most normal action in the world. That in itself should speak volumes about where my mind is at. To be honest, I knew then that I was going to have to give into the memories and let the day take me where it will. Perfect mornings, first kisses and lunches among the just to name a few. Missing the catch in your breath when you move in for a kiss, the way your hands fist in my hair when I am next to you and the way your eyes always see right into my soul to name a few more. Every moment, stressful, tense and even having convos that neither you or I ever want to repeat are waging inside my head today and I can't shut them off..I suppose I should stop trying to hide from them. Yesterday, I watched you drive by continually. I saw you glancing my way and looking like a hot mess in shades, your strong arms glistening in the sun. You should know I wanted you to stop. I wanted to run to the door and into your arms. I hate this. I hate all of it. You think I walked away, I think you walked away..when in reality neither of us went anywhere. I love you and I miss you. You have no idea how much I want to hear your voice telling me that we are going to figure all of this out. Ran
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My advice? 1. You got duped into giving up a little snick snack to a sleaze bag with a sincere smile, but no soul. don't dwell on it. Move on and forget it (and him). 2. Next time keep the panties on a little bit longer. Try saying something like this: "Yes, I like you too and I feel really turned on also. But I want to be totally honest with you. I'm not going to postpone sex just so that you don't think I'm a slut and I'm not going to make you do back flips and wait forever to try and make you think I am practiy a virgin. But I want to wait for one simple reason: Because I really really do like you and I don't want to fuck it up by fucking to fast. You want a commitment? I'll tell you right now I am not and not have sex with anybody until you and I either get it on or decide were just temporarily delirious. I'll also tell you that if I have to wait more than a month before getting your pants off, I'm just going to rape you anyway. So how about just pretending that for the next weeks or so that I'm recovering from a nasty case of gonorrhea or something. Let's spend some time together, some time apart, some time having fun, and some time for our hearts. A few laughs, lots of kisses, but no loin massages, no sleepovers, and don't even think about bubble baths, candles, and a polaroid camera! When I feel the time is right for both of us, I'll grab you below the waist first. Then if you want me to wait longer for you, I'll do that." If a truly cares for a woman and wants a term, he won't split over having to wait weeks. One time I waited months for her to "feel comfortable". Then I found out that in order for her to feel comfortable, she needed me to start paying her rent. We've all made emotional investments into the goldmine filled with rocks covered with yellow paint. Learn, live, and move on. tonight in target off Goring-on-ThamesIf they had such a wonderful marriage he wouldn't of cheated and felt the need to confide his troubles with OP. Do you live in a glass bubble?!?! My best friend has a very troubled marriage, she turns to me for guidance and support, and honestly, I think I know WAY more about her marriage then her husband cares to have a clue about, hence the term "troubled marriage"!! Should we just swear off friends the moment we say "I do"?!?! horney women
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