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When we started our relationship we both had problems. I have trust issues, big ones. I think that is where my control issues stem from. He needed a shoulder and I needed him as well. We met each other at a very similar time in our lives. We were together 2 years before getting married because I wanted to make sure it's what we both wanted ( I was 4 months pregnant then). I didn't want us to just because I was pregnant. It didn't work for my parents and sure wasn't going to work for me. I know me being pregnant sped up the process, I'd be stupid to think it didn't. He assured me that us getting married is what he wanted. So we did. At about 7 months, I started having issues (had to spend most of my time in the hospital or on bed rest). He cheated, felt guilty and stopped contact with the girl that he cheated on me with. I found out by looking at pictures on his phone. I didn't go looking for it ( he had taken pictures of pack and plays and a few strollers). It blindsided me, but I felt stuck. All the while he was drinking and hanging out with our slutty neighbor. So what was I to think? How was I supposed to stay out of that? That's about the time we decided to move on post. 5 days after, due to stress and complications, I had our, 3 weeks early. He brought this slutty neighbor into my delivery room and left with her during. The day we were to come home, he went to a peewee football game. Told me my mother could take me home. My brother stood up for me. He stormed into my room and yelled at me in front of my mother and staff at the hospital (my doctor still to this day asks me 6 times during one appt if he's abusive). My mom and him fought for 30 minutes. I was delayed another 4 hours and put on blood pressure meds because I kept all the hurt in (I was admitted for pre- eclampsia). After I was released from the hospital, 4 days later, he brought her to our home. after we started counseling. I'm fairly certain he didn't do anything with her, but I can't be sure. I was a doormat. I have a hard time forgetting things like this. I am trying daily to forgive him. Some days are worse than others. So you guys are right, I have issues. Some control, mostly trust. I have a hard time fully trusting a who has caused so much pain. I'm trying though. best fucking Balikpapan
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