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Hmm. I think I tend to be on the good girl + playful/cheerful side of the spectrum. Good for me would be clear, honorable, straightforward behavior as much as possible on both sides. Then folks paying attention and respecting the boundaries of the current play and person. Sometimes I am bouncy/cheerful/naughty/playful, but there is no malice in it. Although sometimes it is obnoxious and I get asked to tone it down. When I sub, I'm a good girl and try my best. Whether that is giving honest reactions or following requests. When I dom, my good girl lets me "-" them. Pure reactions from the heart and eyes. This is what I want. This is the energy that I feed on. How do we deal with undesireable kinds of behavior? After much trial and error, we have a "-" system. Sometimes (it could be for anything, not just bdsm stuff) one person "flags" to indicate "need your temporary attention on something." Having it be something neutral that both of us use, reduces the that someone takes it personally and gets hurt feelings. In the scene, I have seen other dynamics though, including what looks like both dom and sub enjoying/wanting bad girl or very topping from the bottom patterns. As as all the folks involved are on the same and consent to whatever the parameters are, yay! More power to them. When there are contradictory views/goals/attitudes, time for renegotiation or a possible parting of ways. women looking for sex Faroe Islands
is very difficult to mend. Her growing process had been broken and neglected for years so it's not likely that you'll be able to put the pieces together over night, especially when she's unwilling and is very much accustomed to her personality/behavior etc. needs immediate interaction in order to achieve the right result on whatever your topic be, behavioral ,physical growth, social skill and so on. I'd compare your sister's problem to a ripped and practiy broken thread that's been left to support it's own purpose and others while weakened. Her growth process had been skipped and disregarded by the adult in her life with or without conscience. It's like babies going from a sitting to standing position and forgotten to crawl ,the growing process in between sitting and jumping :P. When they skip a process they'll eventually via back to the missing one at some point in life and make themselves look a fully grown who did not receive the right nourishment from a mother during his childhood would or later cling to his mother like he's still and never heard of a yr old in his life. Your sister though, she tends to linger on with life by doing her simple job of living but what's done, if you pay attention, is considered acceptable to most dysfunctional norms, but is it? Deep down inside she is hurting while barring the truth from herself. beautiful woman with black curly hair whole foods in the pearlWhen I find my girlfriend getting stressed about the lifestyle we end up living (two PhD students don't exactly have a lot of money, and there's a lot of uncertainty about what kind of jobs we're going to get once we graduate), it's usually because I haven't been giving her enough positive attention of other kinds, haven't been drawing her to look at what we have that is wonderful. So I have to remember to focus my efforts on her directly , not indirectly. I have to stop worrying about what I do for her one day, or what kind of job I might get down the road, and just be sure to her, to ask how her day is instead of launching into how mine was, to really focus on her. I think of it as getting outside of myself, putting my energy into the world, not myself. It's amazing how doing this just an hour a day makes the relationship way more wonderful, and makes her (and me) way less stressed. It's not hard, either, it's just about really paying attention and focusing on her , not on what I am thinking. Listening. Neither one of us is really money-focused, but it's still easy to get stressed about it. Drawing strength from what we really enjoy is the quickest way to be excited with what we have and eager to do it more. It isn't about what I can promise one day. It's about what we both have right here, right now., dreams, books, ideas, friends. And being content in the moment makes things more likely to happen in the future, because most people like to be around a confident, content person and opportunities open up that way. free singles dating
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