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neurotic seeking same (and me too from my past) that kind of abusive attention is familiar and oddly comforting in its familiarity. When someone's nice to you, it's hard to trust it, because you wonder when they change and hurt you just like the others did. If they start out as an ass, you know that's how they are and you don't have to wait for them to disappoint you. If they start nice, it hurts more if they change. It's hard to be with someone nice, because it's hard to trust it. Sick logic, but there it is.
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ca65 want to date a asianto having a mini-existential crisis day! I thought I dealt with this sh*t years ago! I am at the cusp of a change in direction. Chaos and Confusion rule. I lose so much valuable time in indecision. Maybe this is where a roll of the dice, meaningless in itself, could give a direction and meaning to my future. Though I'd like to choose my own path, not have it dictated to me, either by other peoples' whims, nor by random. On the other hand, making Fate subject to stochastic events is a good joke to play on the universe. It's certainly been playing it on me! In the Board Game of my Life, I could Consult the Mystic 8-ball whenever I hit a fork in the path. Then again, where I'm at isn't so much a fork as a Kosmic Koosh Ball of potential directions. Who would believe that personal intentional freedom could be such a curse? Bleh! Everyone needs to believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink (of coffee : ) dating forum
older bbw wanted for sexual encounters the illusion of being in control I suppose. But I really think Kundera was right about the experience one is allowed to just live once is perhaps not worth living. What it is a form of cruel joke, and I think the whole point of humanity is a rebellion against it. And I also think there is a very good change of us succeeding, but perhaps I read too much sci-fi and the likes of Kurzweil. But the way I feel about pondering too much has to do with with my tendency towards it to the determent of getting *real* work done (since as Candide said we must cultivate our garden) since unfortunately no one appears willing to pay me for it, and with good reason. (Though I can hardly complain about my easy job, one that makes it possible to consume incredible amounts of audio—all I learned about philosohphy comes from philosophytalk) I that Thucydides quote. let me close with (attributed to Andi W.) "you think too much 'cause there's work that you don't want to do", the quote I have on the wall of my studio. girl to fuck Longview
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