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Is it ok to be upset when your wife is hurting herself physiy to help her family pack boxes and lift heavy things when the family member could afford the most elite team of professional super movers. Her back has been injured for months. It gets a little better and she then has to leave home to help do this sort of work and returns hurt again. Is it ok to be upset when your wife is having a wonderful day and the two of you have plans to do something nice, like have a date . and the phone rings from her family and she starts shaking, smoking like a chimney, drinking, crying, yelling, and/or etc. and the day is ruined. Is it OK to be upset when your wife says she's on her way home and then some other reason comes up with the disfunctional family and she never arrives. Doesn't usually in these cases. Is it ok when your wife leaves for a week to take care of her ill mother (yes it's ok) then to return home for 3 days (exhausted barely leaving the bed) to get a from her one and only friend (like family 30+ yrs) that has the flu to leave again to take care of her. (This one I'm still contemplating) I feel bad for the friend. Normally this would be ok, but with the problems we are having, the fact she was gone for week and exhausted, and physiy not doing well herself..? Everytime I'm talking to my wife saying she wants to come home, I hear this whiny ass in the back ground saying "don't leave me". This person has a fiance and friends. In defense of her, they are now sick too. I assume my wife return home sick. then I be sick. Thanks :( So if my 50 year old wife wants to leave she should right. Why does she have to try to please these family members that treat her so poorly? This bothers me. sbf seeking fwb and possible relationshipShe was involved with a married who you knew/ were friendly with, and you knew his wife kid too (not sure if I'm remembering that all correctly). And I think I remember you sayin that her having this affair with this guy became a bit of a repellant for you, in terms of your finding her attractive. You struck up your friendship/ relationship back in the states, before she moved away. I'm going to go with what I believe was the basic line of argument in my advice to (what I remember as) your original post: A while back, your gut told you something important about this woman and you kept your distance as a result. Now, however, after getting yourself knee-deep in her problems and such (as I it), you now feel a sort of sense of duty to her. But the thing is, your listening to her problems hasn't actually helped her to begin to resolve anything. Meaning, she's still acting out on all the problems she's already told you that she has. And that's because her 'confiding' in you wasn't therapy it wasn't her doing any work on herself what is was, was a process of her telling you who she is. And if you step back from that for a second, from the sentiment that came from those talks, you'll likely that the things she's told you jive with the things you *sensed* about her however so ago (when she was having that affair and you didn't find her attractive). And I'm guessing all this because, here you are, saying you need to break up with her now, and not too after your original post (what's it been, like a month? Maybe a lil more?). So, the way I it: You got sucked in, the same way the other guy(s) have. And I think now, once and for all, you should listen to yor gut and stand down on this one walk away, you don't have a duty here. You have even been/ are being manipulated by her (it's hard to say, though, because I don't know her). 40 dating
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