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I was 7 years sober when I got a from my dad's sister that my dad was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. I hated my dad. I hated my dad and blamed him for everything wrong with me, my life, my past, my present, my parents divorce, my brother's schizophrenia everything. Yet when I got that , I knew I had to him. I didn't want to but knew that I had to. I flew to Boston from. Arrived in Boston, clueless as to what to do. I ed 6 oldtimers in AA in Los. The sixth one answered and I told her why I was there in Boston. I had never ed her before, I've never ed her since but that night, she was the only one home and answered my. This is what she said: "Your father has a god. It's not your job to introduce him to his god, he already has one. Go him every day for an hour, read to him, tell him about your life, tell him that you him, then enjoy Boston." I didn't believe in god. I didn't want to tell him I loved him. But I did exactly what she said I spent an hour with him, read to him, shared with him about my life, told him I loved him and then left for an AA meeting. I did that every day. During one of my visits, my dad said to me, "I'm sorry I haven't been a real good father to you, I had a lot of problems." In that moment, ALL my hatred, anger and resentment towards him left and has NEVER returned. And I shared with him, "I'm sorry I haven't been a real good daughter to you, I had a lot of problems." Decades of animosity dissolved and have never returned. I am very grateful for that oldtimer who answered the phone and who guided me through an experience I had never, ever walked through before. During that visit, I also showed him a picture of my girlfriend at the time, not to shove it down his throat as I did when I first came out but rather, to share with him about my life. My dad studied her picture and replied, "She's very. She looks very happy. Is she good to you? Does your mother like her? Does she help you pay the rent?" Wow!! When I meet "her" whom I want to share my life with, I ask myself my dad's questions to me and know that if the answers to each are "yes," that my dad would be support us in our partnership~ boy needs punishmentof protecting his virginity but instead of trying to change his entire perspective in one comment on I tried to give him a helpful suggestion on meeting sweet guys that are more 'damsel' like i can enter him into the 12 step program of becoming cynical and jaded if you want? i certainly went through that already adult social networking
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