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I found out from my vociferously ignorant neighbor that Deirdre has a new boyfriend. There was that initial feeling being replaced, of being bettered, of not being good enough, of wanting to lash out, of wanting to sulk in, I tried to rationalize it, mindspeaking that she will break up with him, that he's probably not as good as me, in this way or that. Perhaps I could swash this fly of a man. How dare..
That is all so pathetic. Those acid malice fulled emotions. I would like to say, being such an awesome charlie sheen of a man, that I pushed those negative selfish emotions away and they never came back. They come back. I get angry and thin, as if someone is holding my emotions up against the wall, as if my emotional well is being run dry, as if she broke my loving.
she'll do fine with him, regardless of my opinion. I do, also, feel that she made the right decision by leaving. The way I live my life is difficult, I am difficult. nite. Array lady to fuck tonite in Mount PleasantNew year,time for something new.
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