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He should believe you because you are talking about your feelings. He should KNOW that he cannot force relationships. You don't need to PROVE anything to him. I get what you're doing but the more you write, the more I shake my head. You are creating an artifical reality that won't stand the test of time. I would NOT base my marriage on me being forced to do something that is pointless and wrong just so someone is happy. There's a difference between doing something to make your spouse happy and playing into spouses bullshit. IMO. My husband likes me to attend functions. I do it even though 90% of the time I'd rather not. I just don't that kind of thing as what your husband wants out of you. I think it's very sad that's he's so happy about something so artificial. There is no substance with him, it's the act, the show and not at all about the reality. I certainly wouldn't cater to someone who was using me to relieve his guilt. Counseling should spend a good deal of time making sure he owns his issues and is prepared to deal with them. Not playing this stupid pretend game. But my marriage is not yours. I wouldn't tolerate what yoru husband does, tolerate his mother or anything you've described. If I was you, I'd be walking. Seriously, this is no way to live. Basing your marital happiness on two dictated phone s to someone who you don't even like twice a week, that's just bullshit. And the house of cards come falling down one day. I don't have anything left to say that's supportive of you going along with this. It's not the phone s, it's your husband's denial and putting the burden on you. on the hunt for an erotic storytellerI need to clear a few things up. My husband had addiction problems several years back. I didn't know he was addicted to Loratabs. On his own, still without me knowing anything, he began treatment. The doctor prescribed him some opiiate replacements and anti-depressants. I could tell something was up because his personality changed. He went from and fun, friendly, loving guy with lots of energy to an emotional vegetable. We stop conversing, stop hanging out together, stopped having sex. He was extremely disconnected. I had just began back at college and thought that my schooling was the drain on our relationship. I thought he was no longer interested in me. I thought he was checking out of the relationship. I was discussing this with his step-mom and she mentioned that it could be a possibility since he really wasn't an education kind of guy because he dropped out in the 10th grade. She thought I knew this. I didn't. I was told by him that he graduated. When I confronted him he admitted lying and then admitted the usage. Things were still really bad. I would find out a new lie every week or so. He wouldn't let me be part of his treatment. We lived horribly for about nine months and then I decided I wanted a separation because things had really gotten bad. After being separated a while we decided to try to make it work and have been doing really well for the last year. That's the background of what he did. Here is what I did. I had a hard time forgiving him especially since the lies kept popping up and he was still horribly distant. I knew that I needed time and space to figure things out but didn't know how to tell him. I also really screwed up about a month before I asked for a separation. I cheated on him with a friend of ours who had knowledge about everything that was going on and was a supportive ear. I know that nothing my husband did or didn't do is any excuse for my actions. It's all back story and helps to explain my frame of mind at the time. I thought the end was inevitable. After we separated, I cooled off and could think clearly. I also saw and got to know the that I had married again. We decided to make it work. I decided to not tell him about the affair because I figured it would hurt everyone too much. I also made that decision upon the advice of our marriage counselor. perfect dating
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