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This hit you the hardest because you bought into the whirlwind romance idea. You might have vocalized a more pragmatic stance with him but your emotions were pouncing on the promise that it could be true. Understandable. This hit you hardest than the other relationships because you're in your 30's now. You're ready for serious. You WANT serious. Understandable. All your emotions are understandable but illogical. You have posted that you pointed out the logic of the situation to him times. However, your emotions REALLY wanted to believe and now it's over. You're lucky. REALLY lucky. Imagine being married when he pulled the rug out from under you like that. Imagine having with him when he decided he was "out of now". That would be a whole lot worse. It hurts and I'm sorry but only two months with a guy like that makes you lucky. There. I said it again. Now, you need to tell yourself how lucky you are. Over and over again until you start believing it. You mentioned anger. Sure, I'd be super pissed. However, again, looking at the bigger picture you got out cheap. Vent, journal, cry, eat ice cream, some air guitar, etc. When you're ready make the decision to move on. It won't help to know why he did it. It's his nature and now he's gone. If he comes back? You don't deserve that and after healing you wouldn't WANT that. Let that idea go too. I'm sorry. I you heal from this. hot Lindau Lindaurested, alive and happy. for good reason, other than just living in the moment. I the feel of washed sheets, on my bed, the smell of clean clothes in my closet. when i finally bed down for the night, how wonderful the bed feels, i always think " can it get any better than this?" the view i get from my apartment, of the city skyline. walking into a comic book store and smells there. when i finally pick up my guitar and strum it out!! the fond memory of a kiss, or embrace; the gratitude of that having happened ever. watching, darth vader, getting his ass kicked in Return of the Jedi, and Darth Vader, turning back to the good side. eating salad with my fingers. hearing I you from my family, even though, i put them though hell for years. (thats a blessing!!) wants for a relationship
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