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Meet for a drink or dinner first. Then maybe go out on dates together. (non sexual ones) It's probably the best course of action right now. As far as your jealousy is concerned, you and your wife need to discuss that before anything happens at all. She hid them from you, which is a breach of trust. Ask her why she felt the need to keep them from you. You guys need to be open and honest with each other about that, about why you're thinking of opening at the very least your sexual relationship up. I recommend a book ed "Opening Up" by Taormino. It discusses the pros and cons of opening your relationship/marriage. It also has passages from people the authors interviewed, so it's steeped in the realistic and not just the hypothetical. There are also writing exercises, communication exercises, etc. It's well written and not as wishy washy as some open relationship books out there. Good luck. face sitters wanted# Posted by Devine on /07; PM in My Back Pages Captain White Socks and the surly taxidermist Captain White Socks ( ) entered our lives as a small, mostly-tiger kitten that Amity heard about from her camp-bus driver. Such was Cappy's charm that it smote us all at once, even as we gasped at the giant fleas crawling out of his ears and over his tummy. Quick veterinarian action intervened. Years passed, during which Cappy grew large and bold, treating our family with a courtly affection but expecting to be the (neutered) male in his interactions with any outsiders. He was lordly (not to say a bit -) and he well have been chasing a car when he met his end. I had imagined that he (like our other cat -) always stayed in our back yard but kept away from the street. It wasn't so. There was a slight drizzle falling from the sky when I was summoned by the doorbell, and a very contrite driver, to look at Cappy's now limp but still beautiful corpse, spangled with fog drops. To my dismay taxidermists turned me down flat when I asked about getting Cappy "preserved" so that he could lie curled up on some mantel or windowsill. My were baffled. We had been to Chincoteague and seen the body of "mounted" (they don't it "stuffed") for eternal memory. We had stayed in New Zealand with people whose parlors displayed even (now somewhat motheaten) dogs they had loved in their childhood. But even though we were by then in Princeton, NJ, so that I was able to pester taxidermists all the way from NYC to Philadelphia, nobody wanted to "mount" our old Cappy so that we could keep him. "We don't do pets," more than one surly old-timer told me. Meanwhile, in our freezer, Cappy lay curled up in a giant plastic bag surrounded by frozen peas and fudge-ripple ice cream., of course, had a truly unique suggestion: "don't say it's a pet. Tell them I shot it." Somehow, I hadn't the chutzpah to try his method. In the end, finally, I bought some beautiful cloth that was black and, like Cappy, to wrap him up in. We buried him in the back yard. Einstein's back yard, which was our back yard way back then. But if there's a resurrection, Einstein can't have him because we want Cappy back! married women wants for fun
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