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lonely. Think about it. Does that make sense? Loneliness is something we don't like, same with sadness or loss. The problem lies when we FEAR it. There is a way to be alone that worked for me. I dedicated myself to it. I made damn sure that I did all the things that would have me embrace being alone. No, I didn't WANT to be alone and I didn't want to be lonely..but I knew I couldn't make my choices out of the fear of being alone. If I did that how could I ever expect to make smart ones? I'd be a phony. So I made a pact, a pact with ME. I was not going to eat cookies and say I'm trying to lose weight. I was going to get mentally (physical has never been too big of an issue with me, but if you need it cover that too) and no matter how it took I was going to accomplish that. So I set about making a plan to accomplish it..no I didn't have it all set before I began. Action was KEY..act now. I made sure I had regular counseling check ups, a way to hold myself accountable really, accountable for doing the things I knew I needed to do. I picked some things that got me out of the house and DID THEM. I chose new things, something to learn, something I had talked about doing and never made myself do. Something that forced me into a new social setting and agreed NOT to discuss my problems. To act like the person I wanted to be..how I pictured the finished produckt. I compartmentalized my life pity party time was with my counselor or at times of MY chosing and when the time was up, it was UP. Done, finished and off to doing something. I made sure I lived in a positive setting. Dishes were done, house clean and the yard taken care of. Car maintained and no slacking off..it kept me busy. I seized my freedom by the throat. I bought food for ME. Cooked meals I liked, drank what I liked to drink and sometimes on a friday night..I went fishing, just because and slept under the stars..I did it when Friday morning I had NO idea what I was going to do. I was asked if I would sky dive and said YES..and WENT. and I stuck to it especially when I didn't want to. In that I MADE my life. Try it out. casual encounters in Burlington VermontYou're on the edge of making us accountable for the mistakes of our mates. Why should i assume that responsibility? She wasn't like that when I married her. People change during the course of time. Now if your ex was a bumb when you met him and a bumb when it ended then yea, you are the blame. But i'm not in the same boat ur in. My wife was and still is a good woman. She's just been influenced by negative friends, she's a feminist at heart. Amongst other things. She and I were very productive human beings. She's probably a better person than you are. Good people make bad decisions. Dumb choices aren't restricted to bumbs like u and your ex. We're different. You're the idiot for marrying a bumb. Thats just dumb. you must have low selfesteem. amature encounters
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