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Take a deep breath. Right now you and your to be ex are living in the same place so just get prepared for filing for divorce and motion for custody. I recommend that you file your motion for custody as as you figure out where you are going to live. (Since you make the money and she does not, do not file a motion for support or spousal support.) You end up in court ordered mediation who make a recommendation to the judge which likely be adopted by the judge. Start thinking about your motion for custody. The court standard be what is in the best interest of the. If the are happy in their current schools, think about where you are going to live in terms of the school district of the. You have a bit more flexibility to live in the same school district. As for discussing custody with the girls, the courts look on the custody issues as an adult issue and it not be wise to share with the court/mediator that you have discussed the issue with the. The mediator interview the older. So start thinking about your motion for custody, begin writing down why it is in the best interest of the to spend more time with you. Think about a custody schedule. Her mental problems is not the issue (however, if she has been diagnosed with a mental disorder you want to mention it; however; it is a doubled-edge sword as it is not in your best interest to say it is so debilitating that it implies she can't find work as it effect that length of time you pay spousal support), you need to be able to cite examples in your motion of how her anger impacts the girls. As for spousal support, you want to ask the court for her to get an vocational evaluation/assessment. It be money well spent (it likely be your money). The idea is if a professional can identify a path for her to take to obtain full time employment, the court have something to rely on in the future is she is chooses not to pursue full time employment. Unfortunately these days, we tend to worry about stuff we do not have any control over. If your wife is angry, it is unlikely that you easily reach agreement. It be better to let the court decide, knowing that it could be changed in the future. Good Luck looking for my dream guy a pothead with a job
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