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I know from experience that it is hard not to argue against their mom while she is busy putting you down. When my kid was under 10 I didn't argue back, knowing it would do nothing but make the kid feel bad. But when she got into her teens, I felt that I was losing significant ground, and had to aprise her of the "facts" of my side of the story. It is difficult to have any parental control over your if the other parent doesn't back you up, and worse: if the other parent is fomenting disrespect, you are doomed. You need to sit and talk to your ex about this. I never realized until I was divorced how, married or not, you need both parents backing each other up and working in concert to keep from losing respect for parents and cutting the tenuous chord of parental control. Remember the cliche about (with married parents!) running from one parent to the other looking for a loophole. Well it is magnified with divorced parents, and the effectively have no role models as teens. Bad. bored looking to cuddle or more tonightand everything to do with them needing to grow the hell up. It seems as though they have some bizarre sense of entitlement. These two sound like they are teenagers, not adults. I have to say that I have experience dealing with alcoholism and but this goes even beyond those issues. I know you be reluctant to throw them out but I would like to propose another perspective. You be actually hindering them by allowing them to remain in your home. As it stands today, they have no financial accountability for their living expenses. I am guessing this was the same when they lived with MIL. While family is expected to help and support, this goes far beyond support. They are not learning how to on each other and become self sufficient or responsible adults. They act like because they can. There are no consequences. Would you allow your to behave in the manner toward each other in your home for a year? The comment about the lesbian an racial comments being a manipulation tactic is right on the money. These two both know you are compassionate, obviously if you have adopted 5. They also know that your husband not pipe in, which leaves the nice one (you) to whom they can guilt into not throwing out on their asses like they should have been after the first drunken fight. Do you really want your to witness that behavior? I won't even comment on the whole pot smoking issue because that one is a no brainer around and elderly grandparents in the in-law apartment. Sorry if I sound harsh but these two need some tough or they remain dependent on every family member who continues to enable them. married couples sex
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