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Some days I think things are better, some days not so much. She has gotten passed the defensiveness and we are looking into both physical and psychological causes. But it is a highly charged issue emotionally for both of us, which does make it difficult to have the intimacy needed to have a positive sexual experience. I also struggled with the feeling that I was pushing her into something she doesn't want, a feeling I really can't tolerate. I told her I would not initiate at all until we were in a different space and that any interaction we had would have to be initiated by her. This is with the understanding that it take counseling or something but that in the end if she treated me as a friend then I be her friend and if she treats me as a lover she be a lover. I not wait in limbo forever. Some days I think I'm full of shit and I wait forever, some days I think I won't bother to wait for her to do her work . I do think we are headed in the right direction they make excuses to get out of it, you both say it is this or that, causing it. It doesn't mean she doesn't you or want you. It's that there is a problem that is hard to face and hard to pin point. Some of the answer be trial and error, with the understanding that some of the things you try won't work and that's okay. It's hard not to be disappointed with the failures but the disappointment builds and makes the problem scarier to face. Some of the answer be seeking help from a counselor/doctor. Selma desperate wifesI've known two hoarders in my life my ex's mother and my best friend's father. And I've seen it in all stages the place get cleaned up, but without intensive professional help, it never stays that way. It is a fire hazard, first of all. Recently, in our area, a woman died because the firemen couldn't get to her due to her hoarding. It breeds germs and critters. We stored my ex's mom's stuff in our garage for a few months during one of the clean-up spells (initiated by the family and due to a move) and ended up with cockroaches. It's okay for this to be a dealbreaker. It definitely would be for me, especially after seeing it first-hand. online dating for women
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