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ca65 West River Maryland old womanYet the reality is her lovers give her more intense sexual than I do. When I say this I mean it purely on sexual level. One thing this life style has taught her is how to compartmentalize her sexuality and sexual pleasure. She has the ability to separate sex from and understands that her lovers are for sex. Yet when they are together, the power of their sex is so real and raw. Our sex is loving and intimate and wonderful. Their sex is powerful and deliberate and epic. I know it sounds odd, but the course of their relationships has been much like a heavyweight boxing match. Two finely tuned athletes first feeling each other out and then eventually standing toe to toe, delivering blow after blow, challenging the other give rise up and find their best, finishing the match totally spent and exhausted. Being a part of it for me is a thrill. I her so dearly and seeing her realize the fullness of her sexuality in the context of our marriage and the pleasure that has brought to both of us is nearly beyond description. And being able to share intimacies, and kink with her on my own right is a in and of itself. Yet in the midst of all this, sex and kink, I'd be lying if I didn't recognize a certain amount of uneasiness, nervousness perhaps even anxiety. I'm thrilled she's so fulfilled but why can't I be the one who provides it? What if I were capable of giving her THOSE kind of orgasms? don't get me wrong, I'm far from saying that I'm ready to reign things back in a more monogamous fashion. And I have shared these concerns with her and she gets it. She is very sensitive to my needs. We spend a lot of time cuddling and talking, sometimes immediately after they've finished fucking. This has been great. The only thing we haven't talked about is ending the lifestyle and going back. I'm not saying I want that. If I did I'd feel comfortable saying it to her. Yet at the same time I just feel like, in ways, the dye has been cast. There is no turning back. I'm not sure now our relationship could withstand it. I guess this has been an extremely way of me asking a very simple question. For those involved in this lifestyle, have you experienced this feeling I've described? Of wanting all this for your spouse, yet at the same time being somewhat conflicted by it? totally free online dating
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It's easy for us to sit on the sidelines, a messy problem filled situation like this and say she should get up and leave. Ideally, that well be what she should do, but you've got two that they have together in this situation that have to be provided for. It sounds like they're barely making it economiy as one household. If they split and the same amount of money has to cover two households plus if she goes to work the added expense of childcare how is that going to work? He reminds me of my own father who was verbally and emotionally abusive and had anger issues as well as difficulties earning a living. My mother stuck it out, first taking a crummy job as a kitchen worker in the public school cafeterias, going to night school and school during the summers when her shcool job was in recess until she had skills that enabled her to be independent. Then when he had one of his tantrums and walked out she was able to tell him don't bother coming back. Unfortunately there are two in this mix that have to be feed, clothed, and schooled and that has to come first. I think she needs some kind of counseling to learn to develop her own self respect and get some support to cope with this, but in the economic situation it sounds like they are in it's probably going to be from some charitable organization rather than just checking out some normal fee for service MFCCs in the private sector. Maybe her church, but not if it's one of those conservative "it's all in the Bible, just believe in, and woman know thy place" kind of churches that abound where she is located. It's not a good situation, but it doesn't sound to me like leaving is an option at this point. any real woman looking for a real man
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