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instead of explaining yourself. You molded to the reaction you got, and went the courteous route when you were challenged. That proves my point right there! "Explain, please, Steel " Stand your ground. The way you keep making statements (yes, they be offending others) and backing down with an explanation that is much more benign than the original statement (and therefore, NOT supporting the original statement) shows that you back down AND GIVE IN easily, probably like you do with those girls, when they ask you for money, or when you let them do what THEY want to do without any input on what YOUR thoughts are. That's a perfect example of what I was saying about enmeshing going with the other person's thoughts, feelings, et cetera, and making sure you mold your response to match/quell theirs. Partially to avoid conflict, and partially because you don't trust yourself enough/feel confident enough to really trust yourself in what you are saying and feeling. Do you it?????? You just totally proved what I have been trying to say all along. If you don't get it by now, I'm done trying. gentleman seeking mutual fun and rewarding arrngmnt 38 nyc 38Fetishes are specific and important to those who hold them, so of course it can turn into a hot button topic. Even worse, generally when someone has a real knowledge of something and speaks directly and with passion about it it sometimes threatens people around them (that's just the way it is, unfortunately) makes them feel "punished" when no negative intent is involved. Sometimes I get really passionate about submission, and get irked when submission or subs get misrepresented either by those of the ilk or by those who are ignorant but never have I addressed it with the intent to punish that's like totally righteous dude, and not in the good way. It defeat me before I'm started over time. Its taken me some effort (I think) to even change what D/s looks like to my partner who had done a ton of kinky shit but had always felt not in tune with D/s and probably at times was turned off by it. Without definitions in some areas, none of us would feel passionate about stuff. It's *our* kink community, *our* D/s, *our* bdsm in general, and we need our definitions because it gives us a way to communicate why we do what we do. I don't want to just be lumped in as kinky I need to define D/s as well. without a def .this would all be lumped together as just 'stuff we like' we'd all be homogeneous, yuck with no definitions and that's not natural. Not every dominant wants to be lumped in with tops etc So especially here with the one person I know who has a serious fetish his intent never be to punish ignorance because then he'll never be able to stand up for what he feels is a very defined thing. Nobody would ever listen. And how do you describe a feeling? A fetish evokes a specific sort of feeling and reaction for those that hold it. Yes, the def vary depending on who you ask but I believe there is one answer to this and that is that it is a very defined and rigid set of conditions that cause a thing to be a fetish for someone. I feel the word "fantasize" should replace "fetish" in 99% of fetish conversations. social network dating
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