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For more info. on 's List forums, click "help" at the top right of the for, well, help. About this one: This is an international online discussion forum for queer women. This isn't IM, a chat room, a pick-up spot, or a place for personal ads. more about how this works: If you click "all" at the top of this, you'll posts from all over tarnation, not just your hometown. That's how most of us use this forum. You'll several conversations, or "threads," in progress. Click on a line to read the body of text. If you want to reply to that post, click "reply to post," and once completed your reply appear under the post dots to the right. (To new posts, click "reload" or refresh your browser.) people only check in for a few minutes a day and sometimes threads stretch out for days so it's very different from chat or IM, although sometimes things do get fast furious. We talk about much everything, and tangents are common. It's good to get a feel for things before you dive in. This is a self-moderating forum, with help from 's List staff, but no one person controls the flow, or what's in it. When you click "compose new thread" you're "top-posting," or starting a new topic. You're most welcome to participate in the conversations already in progress a good way to get started here. The little red or green you sometimes beside a post are ratings a way for forum folk to indicate their agreement or disagreement with a post without actually posting a response. (There's a little "rate" link at the top of the right hand window.) Welcome! need someone to clean my aptI don't have tons of dom experience but I have learned that doing a couple simple but controlling things help get you into the role. So if he likes wearing women's underwear then go out and buy him a pair. When he shows up make him change out of his girly underwear to the one you have. That shows you control and dominance over him. You could even meet him at the door with a leash and collar and make him crawl to your room to get the underwear. Second consider what kind of punishment he gets for messing up. So maybe get a crop or flogger or paddle or wooden spoon. Smack his ass or thighs or what not when his actions don't please you. These might help you establish a dominant state of mind so you can yourself better. Tell him exactly what to clean. If he tries to clean without being told smack him or otherwise put him in place. He should follow your direction and do as you say when you say. I would follow him most of the time he is working to supervise him. But if he is doing something that takes a few like scrubbing the tub then you could back off and watch TV, just order him to report when done. As to why and the psychology of it I can't really help since that is personal to him. In general the idea is that the submissive wants to relinquish control in an area to somebody. Possibly because he has to maintain a lot of control in other areas (maybe work). But talk to him about how he feels on the subject. He is your best source of information. full body massage
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