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However I would like for it to be open to the extent that we can talk to other people and enjoy them, find them attractive, have conversations and flirt. AND remain completely true and loyal to each other. And be able to trust that to our bones. This concept is very strange to him. He is sort of black or white. He can only relate right now to having these feelings for someone and that meaning that something must be wrong between us and finding fault with me out of a conditioned guilty conscience. Loving like this is a I know it requires of both of us confidence, in our selves and each other. We have to be able to trust each other completely and feel good enough about ourselves to feel worthy of this kind for relationship. I believe in monogomay, and I believe that monogamy can also incorporate relating with other people and enjoying attraction. It just takes being very solid and commited and knowing what we are commited to and why. We both need to know of ourselves and from each other the value of our relationship as well as the value of staying committed to it and the goals that we are sharing. Personally I feel that as we grow in relationship that the paradigm of our turn-on should also. For example. for me, while I still find my boyfriend very attractive, the turn on facotr is no longer about the unknown, it is about the known, and about the beauty of what we are doing together and the sacredness of true intimacy. However this is also the bubble I find myself living in, sadly, alone. At least for now. I do feel that our paradigms are different in how we approach and relate to relationship, initmacy and marriage. I have a lot of lofty views on all this, and well, I have recently had to succumb to the relaization that right now, he is not floating on the same lofty cloud as me. Who knows. Sure just feels good getting this out. Thanks for listening a beautiful shot in the darkOr do they post the version du jour, picking details to get response they want? Obviously, both phenomena occur, but sometime I have trouble deciding which one is at play. Here, his gf is pregnant when raped. The OP has just been informed of both the rape AND the fact that he has a daughter he's never met. https:// Here's more of the original story. The thread includes posts from a stalker who claims the OP slandered his on. Not clear what the did with crazy glue. https:// Here he suspects an ex-bf set up the rape. https:// Here he's becoming suspicious of his gf's story. https:// One hopes the whole mess is invented. Yet there is a consistent bewilderment to the posts. If any of it is true, what's shocking to me is the way the is forgotten, but the obsession with "that night" remains. One would think he'd be more angry about his gf hiding his for 17 years. OTOH if it is an invention, ugghh. term rape obsession. divorced dating
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