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I appreciate your replies. They do ease my mind. I really do not want my marriage to end but I also want to feel safe and secure in it. That is where I am now these days. I have looked into getting more counseling for myself. I have encouraged him as well since he has a lot of issues from his childhood that he has dealt with by himself for years and years. As far as having time to ourselves, it is hard since we do not have anyone to watch our but we did finally go to the beach last and that was nice. We never had a honeymoon or vacation together. When we moved in together we also moved my sick Mother in with us so we just could not afford to go anywhere. We still wanted to each other so we just went to the courthouse. When I look back I guess we did have a lot going on but on. how to meet people Augusta GeorgiaI definitely prefer positive loving people and environments, and would rather make someones day than totally shit in their face but I've learned in this life a few things * Nothing is ever perfect in life, not even my mother * Your are your life. * Marriage is a commitment to each other and is sacred, even if it is not "traditional". * Some rules can be broken and forgiven, some cannot * If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all * Always choose your battles wisely you cannot win them all. * All people have addictions, some are just more hurtful than others, good and bad I didn't have much of a choice to ever live a "normal" life, the first time my step brother "showed me some stuff" was when I was only 6 years old but I have learned that everyone, including ones we and ones we don't even know can be so very hurtful its so much easier to tear someone down than lift them up was how they were taught. I know my soul is a loving caring committed fighting soul and thats what matters most, I'm going to find happiness someday. I would also never say a negative thing to someone who didn't deserve it so if you think you are entitled to give some shit then you better be prepared to back it up I've gotten a lot of training and experience from putting up with others Just be prepared when you have to answer to the one that matters most it doesn't matter what I think Thanks again older women dating
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