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both personally and professionally. i have watched my father lose his strength, abilities and become dependent on others. as a family, we worked very hard to respect his process, to allow him to make as choices as he could, and to die as he wanted to in his own home. he was not elderly, but cancer ages people quickly. and i work with people who have very limited mental and physical abilities. i have to manage my own feelings as people make their own choices, sometimes different choices than i would make or than i would like them to make, everyday. i watch my clients turn down perfectly good housing, make choices that result in losing their housing, spend money hastily and then fail to pay important bills, use despite the impact on their mental illness or the impact on their money flow or the impact on those around them, stop helpful psychiatric medication that keeps them stable, stay in toxic family or romantic relationships, give away money they don't have to others, do favors for others that get them in trouble, take needless risks, therapy appointments, doctors appointments, burn bridges that they need. the list goes on. the point is that i know how it feels to watch people do things their own way, even things that can be overtly self-destructive. however, i strongly believe in people's right to make their own choices, in self-determination. i respect that all people have their own preferences about how they want to live, die and everything in between. if you haven't yet experienced losing control of an area of your life or having to depend on others, i can assure you that you at some point. and my guess is that you want the same respect and dignity given to you not someone younger, healthier or "wiser" deciding that they "know" what is best for you in your situation. real Alabama girls webcamI've already said several times that BBUK clearly didn't intend malice. To me, this conversation is about unintended interpretations. You are trying to convince me that because a word is in the dictionary one way, that that is it's only taken interpretation? You and I both know full well that is not the case. People are extremely creative with the way they use language, especially with nuance and. I can't help but think that this is especially personal for you because of your own family connection to cotton, since you've taken the pains to point that out several times and also that your family is not black. Okay. I can this. But that also does not mean that the phrase is used by people to still mean n____. My own family is Greek, but that didn't stop the Klan from burning a cross on their lawn and considering them "niggers" a couple of generations ago. Historiy, skin color is not the only thing that counts as race in this country. It also includes things like country of origin, religion (Catholics got the short end of it for a time here), class, and occupation. I fall midway between your position and ulula's. I do believe words all words have a time and place in which they can be used. Political or academic discussions, fiction, etc. all seem to me perfectly legit places to use powerful words of this sort. But I think we should consider carefully whether we want to throw them around blasely in everyday speech, not even realizing their meaning. Little say things are "-" or "niggerknock" on people's doors and run away without knowing what those words mean, often without intending any malice at all. That doesn't make them less painful to overhear. But one can that when they discover their meanings they have the decency to either stop using them or use them only in thoughtful contexts. online dating for teens
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