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Your hurting so bad and I know because I was in almost the same situation a little over a year ago. Everything is not lost. You get through all this. Surround youself with happy people and stay awy from the downer people who to talk about problems. Decide to be happy and you get there. I not be as smart sounding as some of the other posts but this was kind of my life to so I’ll tell you about that. I got married and we were so much in that we did everything together. Maybe that was overkill or something because at some point I either got lazy or bored but I stopped thinking for myself and just expected him to make me happy. Like the other person said, that’s a big burden to put on somebody. I think maybe he started to resent me for not giving my share in the relationship and I got mad when I realized that it wasn’t that perfect marriage anymore but instead of us trying to figure out what happened we just grew apart which was really realy sad because we had so much going for us. I met a guy through a friend who listened to me when I was just in that sad place. I let him take over my thinking and he convinced me that he could make me happy. That’s where I screwed up thinking that another person had to make me happy. What I know now is that I have to make me happy. Anyway I left my husband who didn’t know what happened. He knew we weren’t as close as we had been but he was bad hurt when I left and I was mad enough to not care. There was some things about the new guy that didn’t quite seem right but I was so excited to be back into a relationship that I didn’t alot of things that people were telling me I guess I was stubborn or blind but I got mad at allot of people who were trying to make me stuff about him. He ended up just being crazy about me til he had me and then the challenge was gone. He was playing other people at the same time I was throwing my life awy cause I believed him. You say your husband keeps ing you. I say your so lucky. I dont’ know how my husband still wanted me but he did. I went back to him with a whole new beginning. i started to really appreciate how much we did have and didn’t take it all for granted. The big excitement with the new guy was just a temporary thrill that wasn’t deep like the memories I had with my husband. Maybe I didn’t know that then but I it clear now. Ne cute guy needs some loving nowHow he treats is extrememely important to your depression and anxiety. How can you ever not be drepressed while in this situation? What is really making you stay, could it be the anxiety of what he'll do when you leave? Someone insisting you act out traumatic events, is getting a sick thrill out of watching you stir. Now he wants you on meds that make you a zombie, that way you don't have the power to make up your mind. He won't let you have your therapy. It's all VERY important. YOU ARE IMPORTANT and how you are treated is important. He's doing more damage than good and I have a feeling it's him that's the root of the depression. I don't think there be any escape from his insisting you get on meds, it's part of his control and manipulation. strip clubs
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