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I don't have, but I was fortunate enough to have a truly wonderful step parent. He hasn't been married to my mother in 15 years, but I'm still close with him and he means the world to me. So don't have very much in their life, and here you are, not even her flesh and blood and you seem to have shooting out your fingertips. There is NOTHING that mean more to her than that. I use to work with and teen girls. They are 'challenging' shall we say. But all they really wanted was to FEEL wanted. And teens are rather ridiculously good at reading people. This isn't something you can fake. They know. Make sure she has her own space, lots of hugs and 'we're so happy you are here', and if you have any pictures of her, put them up. I bet she'd be thrill you never stoped thinking of her as part of the family. Not sure if this is an option, but one thing my step dad always did when I was a teen and he was working part time he'd make me a snack after school and sit with me at the table while I ate it. Every day. And we'd TALK. Not 'is your homework done' kind of talk, but really talk about my goals, about life, about history and politics and and, and even about my friends and boys. I know my bio-parents me, but I can't tell you what it meant that this adult seemed to really care and be interested in what I thought even though he didn't 'have to'. girls look for men Green Valley paYou give permission for what you allow. You have allowed him to be lazy about this relationship, and frankly, you sound more like his mother than his girlfriend. He knows you're not going anywhere, because you are soooooo in luuuuvvvvv. So far, you've treated him the way you want to be treated. So think of it this way: He has shown you the way HE wants to be treated. So give him what he wants. Stop with the 5 AM breakfast shit. Leave a box of Cheerios on the table if you're feeling generous. He starts to do his own laundry. Stop and grab your own dinner before you get home, and walk in already fed he's on his own for dinner. YOU ARE REWARDING HIM FOR TREATING YOUR POORLY. After all that, you STILL leave him and a sweet note?!? Talk about mixed messages!!!!!!! Stop pleading. Stop crying. Stop begging. Find some dignity and grow a spine. "Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." And stop rewarding poor behavior! He does not FEEL what you are feeling. So make it easier for him to feel it. (This is a reason why I'm not a big fan of living together before marriage. Right now you have all the responsibilities of marriage, and absolutely none of the perks. How is this a win-win for you?) The other option is to simply walk, but you aren't going to do that. So your basic problem is this: You aren't going to change him unless he decides it's in his best interests to change. So either you put up and shut up, or you make it clear what the expectations are and follow through with consequences if they don't materialize. You're about 2 years and 51 weeks too late, but some CAN be taught. You are too to be this -'s maid and dog. geek dating
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