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He's aware that you're unhappy ("you're selfish!" AND "it's my fault" comments), he's aware he's obsessed ("I know, it's me" comments) I took an enormous amount of time to grieve my mother. I drank, was emotionally unavailable and most likely disagreeable in general. Fortunately, my husband had also lost his father and understood. There's mortality issues, "what the f%^k am I doing with my life?" issues and let's not forget, "if only I had done this" issues. Death is hard, real hard. I don't know if you've lost someone that close to you before but it was a bear for me to deal with. I would imagine it is tough to take a back seat to that only two years into your marriage but EVERYTHING he says and does right now is the process of grief. I'm sure, given your backstory, that he loves you very much. However, he just not be capable of showing that right now. What to do you can wait, you can leave or you can talk. However, if you go for option 3, the conversation cannot focus on you and oyur needs. He doesn't feel capable of fulfilling his own needs, his parents needs, etc. right now, let alone his wife's needs. Focus on your concern for him. Focus on your to help him heal and move forward. Finally, try and be the most patient person you can be for both of you. I am so sorry. I really you both can move forward and be happy. just a really nice date
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