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A Place to Shower. fat women StamfordWhen i asked him to leave, it was his black out anger that made the decision .he grabed our daughter (5 ft 2 in soaking wet), by the throat. the end result was me ( lbs) on the floor, with him on top of me (him, lbs) me with a broken rib all i could say was **I am done** My income was what we have lived on for the past at least 10 years, i am disabled .he would work short periods, and quit the job in the blink of an eye yeah, i would totaly say his self esteem was trashed, but he was the one to trash it .i had tried several times over tha last few years to help him to help himself, to no avail .so i paddled along, paid the bills as best i could, and loved him anyway. When folks around our town have asked about him, i would update them accordingly, he is doing better than i have seen him do in YEARS, and i couldnt be more proud of him .another factor, he had a closet habit, off and on for 15 out of 16 years .i didnt figgure it out for the first 6 years we were together and its been a battle ever since. He finaly got succesfully sober when he left .no more ghetto trailer to worry about fixing, no more worry about the responsability of any of the mess left behind he got a whole new world .up and out of the mess here, and ploped right into a wonderful life .ok, so this was a separation to fix ourselves i thought we were both making fantastic progress .when our daughter gave birth, c section, she ed dad from her recovery room .he brushed her off .we ed him on his birthday, again he brushed us off. Ok, so i did have a feeling he was seeing someone but i was NOT prepared for .**I have met someone, she is wonderful, i want a divorce, and i am shutting off the cell phones** Took my breath away . I be ok i think ..16 years is a huge chunk of my life, and this trailer is still a huge leaky mess, a work in progress, my way of healing my self esteem/respect, which i lost in an effort to this person, way to years ago . CONT NEXT POST black magic woman
any single Hope Valley girls just starting a whole new path/ life, and this place is part of my past now. i you guys bunches, and keep in touch with a few people here through on occasion. mostly i want to thank the trolls, who have made leaving so much easier! how's that for a silver lining. and now, i'm out. “to life, to it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no eyes, and you say, yes, I take you I you, again.” ― Bass
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