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…I don’t know where you are that bells can be unrung, but I’m here on planet earth and they can’t be unrung here. I’m not sure who you are ranting about but you sound like a regurgitation of a AA meeting. You sure have all the catch phrases down. I wasn’t referring to anyone in particular as swine or an elephant (the last election made me refer to swine a lot in general…duly noted) just a way to say that… to say “I was wrong’ just to manipulate someone into disarming removes the value of the words you place so much value on. When I ‘ am wrong’ I intend to take immediate steps to improve. It is not said to manipulate someone into any action but to acknowledge my error and intent to change. Please do not project your regrets onto me…I myself resist doing things that make me feel guilty (I have enough incidental guilt to risk adding more). You sound as if you are assuming that I would have the same regrets as you. Sorry not the case, I not avail you with my life’s struggles as you have but suffice to say they are not likely the same. What is it that you think I regret? Playing with a bunch of people online that I don’t know.? Responding to insults with insults? Or was it when my opinion was different. Stop writing like you are writing a self help pamphlet and tell me what’s in your craw? For the record I am a huge believer in the power of all words and if you truly believed in the power of words you would know that there is no way to unring a or take back hurtful words. Someone can attempt to make amends for them but the deed is done. Nuf said, or maybe, just maybe, one day I know all that you know. Bowing to the Buddha in the room…oops was that offensive as well? Lighten up, cuz’ someone’s sense of humor is one of those things you cannot change. sucks eating aloneand the like, or relying upon statements about how you would do anything for him and the. Even though this is a past event for him, it is present, this breach of trust has happened NOW, not years ago. I really feel like you need some introspection as to the purpose of telling him, that's not an attack, it's an observation. I know you wanted to be honest with him but to what purpose? To allow him to make a decision or to free your own guilt and seek his forgiveness? You this strong attempt now to do damage control is also selfserving. You are trying to save the marriage for YOU. While I understand that for this to actually work HE has to want to save the marriage. don't try to point out the reasons he should try, he knows them. OFFER to go to counseling and ASK if there is anything that can be done but try not to suggest that you go, then listen. You are going to have to accept that your relationship is forever changed. There is no going back. He have to decide if he can handle that. Respect it. sex service
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