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We are finalizing our paperwork and trying to avoid lawyers to keep costs low. He has given me anything I want from the house, and is giving me $20, from equity in the house. I'm planning to move across the county for work, but still close enough to. We've agree on a split, but he was be the primary and have the closer to 75% of the time. I'll them every other weekend, this is my choice. are 7 and 11, and attend school a few blocks from the house. He be keeping the house and continuing to pay the mortgage and upkeep. With the downturn, the house is worth less than is owed. so the breakdown, is like this. He makes $ k/yr, I make $58k/yr He is leaving me a student with a payment of $ /month, car of $ /month, credit card with $7k balance for $ /month. He is taking the mortgage and the remaining bills. Mortgage is $ /month, and $54k in credit card bills totalling $ /month. He is also giving me $ /month for a year and paid the 1st/last/security deposit for my new apt for $4. I have a against my K, the pulls about $ /month from my paycheck. He isn't touching my K which means I have to cover this added expense. When I look at the amount of money I have left over each month it looks like I'm getting the short end of the stick. I'm thinking I should get more spousal support or have him pay off my K of ~$22k. Thank you in advance seeking a secure compassionate family man
It can't be all one way, or the other nor can it be completely equal. In this area, TRUST and respect matter more than any other. There's bound to be an impasse, no matter what you do. It's those times when one of you HAS to make the decision they feel is best and the other one has to TRUST in that decision and abide by it. You give the power to decide to your spouse, even if you don't agree with it. This isn't so hard to do if you TRUST your spouse to keep your family's best interest in mind. You don't have to agree with his or her decision, but you DO have to trust that s/he is making a fair and just decision. For example, we helped a family member this year with a huge project she needed a ravine cleared of trees, culverts installed, and the whole thing filled in. This required extensive use of a backhoe, chainsaws, crew to help, wear and tear on our equipment and vehicles, risk to life and limb, and $$$MONEY$$$ which neither of us had just lying around. I was deeply afraid for our budget, and argued for the project to be delayed until she could pay for it, or just abandoned (it wasn't a necessity). I could not where we'd get the money. I relented to DH, because I trusted him. And even if the project failed or went bust, I knew he would never risk our own welfare to complete it. Each week, we scrambled to find money for one part or another. We got through it, the job is 70% finished and hold for the, and didn't drive us to the poorhouse, we still eat quite well and stay warm and dry. There are other areas in which DH bends to my, too, even though he disagrees such as maintaining what we need for the house, computer equipment, and managing the weekly budget. It has worked out that he's in charge of the big decisions, and I keep all the mountains of little ones at bay so they don't become big ones. It's a workable balance of power. I don't intrude on his areas of expertise (seeing the bigger picture and planning for the future), and he doesn't intrude on mine (attentiveness to detail, keeping the machine oiled and running smoothly). One reason this works is because we know that trust is earned, not blindly given. We don't just do whatever the hell we want, because we know making a wrong move could damage trust. Vienna Maryland adult classifieds onlineFYI, the marriage counselor has told me that she thinks I am doing everything right. That I have to wait for the new guy to split (which he as he thinks he is a “player”) and once she realizes all she is giving up she come back. She then asked me why I want to stick around since she thinks I am giving all I can and getting not much in return. My answer to that question is, I my wife, I my and while I not be getting much back yet I feel it turn around if we can get through this. I fully admit that i shouldn't have been yelling at anyone. i have taken great strides in this area in the last year. I am not without fault here. As for the comment of thinking with my. I wasn't. I her. Age aside we get along very well and raise our very well together. We balance each other out in areas. I know the relationship is very damaged and didn't start on the best of foundations. But I married my wife for ever not until things got bad. free dating sites for men
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