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A gust of arctic air swirled through the house before he closed the door, refreshing after all of the warm air radiating from the woodstove. "They are beautiful." she smiled, her cheeks flushed from the heat. "They can be quite a handful" he replied. "But they're family, so allowances must be made." and the twinkle in his eyes gave away how much he cared for them. They paused in silence again. "What happened to me, last night?" He told her of how he found her, brought her home, cared for her. "And there is no way out?" "Not for a few days, at least. The drifts are too deep for the dogs. I have a contract with a in town to plow my road every two weeks. But since he saw me yesterday, he knows I won't need supplies for another two weeks. "The problem is, I left most of those supplies where I found you. I'll have to retrieve them before the foxes find them, or we have some difficult days ahead." "And you do not have a phone?" "No one would." and she could not help but hear the subtle intonation of sadness in his voice. "I have a cell in my purse. I don't suppose you brought it with you." "No, I am sorry, but I did not think of it." "No need to be sorry, you took care of me and for that I am very grateful. You probably saved my life." "Think nothing of it. It is no more than what any human being would do for another." She looked at his face but detected no hint of sarcasm there or in his voice. She wondered what he would do were he shown the homeless sleeping atop parking lot ventilation grates for warmth. "I continue to be grateful nonetheless." she said with a smile, and was surprised to him blush. Turning away, she asked "what do we need to do to get the supplies?" "I have some outdoor clothing that keep you warmer than what you have." In short order they were bundled up, each drawing on a lead from the sled, with the dogs scattered about them, exuberant at this reversal of roles. As the snow blew about them they set out for the car. continued loney girl looken for guyI've got a bad habit of lying to my wife. I don't want to. My intentions are to get our marriage back on track. Most of the lying wouldn't be serious if it wasn't for the pattern. It's been little things. One year I bought records on Record Store Day after we decided to not spend any money. Not the best thing in the world, but I'm not cheating or doing or anything like that. It's just that I feel like I have very little control over things. I've had sort of a feeling like this for a time, but I just had an epiphany moment about it. We'll discuss something and come to a decision. Well, we'll talk and what generally happens is, it feels like the decision is generally what she decides. So, I'll be going about life, then find myself going against this agreed upon decision. The thing is, I have problems with shame. I'm currently going to a therapist about it. These shame spirals are very serious and very intense. I shouldn't lie about stuff, but that's the reason why. I'm seeking help, and have identified a good number of my problems, which is the first step to changing them. I just don't think her can take much more. She's been willing to be supportive up until now. But her interest in discussing things is just about gone. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough and I feel like she's got one foot out the door. This is not doing great things for my shame response, but I'm trying to keep it in check. This last time, yesterday, I took the dogs out into the yard, even though we've agreed on not doing this. She was in bed when I've done this. I'm trying to shape up when it comes to things. I really am, but I made a stupid mistake. Either way, by the time I came back inside with them, she was up and in the bathroom. I quickly grabbed the leashes and tried to make it look like I had taken them out onto the street. She saw through this. Now I'm not allowed to do anything with the dogs. I'm just starting to feel like it's not all my fault. Yes, I'm wrong about a lot of things, but I am trying to fix them. They're not changing overnight, but they change. I just get worried that this isn't the most supportive environment for me to do so. We don't have any level of intimacy anymore. Every time things seem to get a little better, something happens and things get worse again. local chat
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