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SY, This note is, but I'm hoping you can leverage what I've learned. After buying my house, I spent 2 years w/ so-ed-friends and it was a disaster. Now, I post and I've had great roommates who keep the house clean, are quiet and respectful and spend their time in their rooms .like living alone but my mortgage is covered. I have a calm, beautiful space. Who ADD to the situation? My ad reflects that, "be kind, open-minded, responsible, compassionate " People select-out if they don't fit the description. List nearby colleges, companies and attractions. When they come by, I ask where they live now and why they're moving, what they think of their job, what they do for fun, how they spend a typical evening, etc. I pay attention to their demeanor and body language and trust my instincts. If they bring a friend, he/she's a great resource; they're more relaxed and revealing. If they're interested, I ask for 3 references (1 current landlord, 1 current boss and 1 more). Once they check out, I send an agreeement 1 w/ the $ details (rent, utilities, when rent is due and when late fees kick in, when notice needs to be given, etc.) The 2nd pg is about cleaning, keeping the doors locked, overnight guest policy, and a clause that this is a no-hard and no-raised-voices house. That helps them decide if it's the right fit. When they give notice to move, I give them a written confirmation, reminding that they need to pay the last month's rent and clean their room to get their deposit back. Bottom line is that it's much easier to be business-like with non-friends and much easier to maintain boundaries. w early 30s 2 chat w a b cupthis relationship is not all about you (but by your post you would never know that). You have anxiety and you are demanding her to change to quiet your anxiety. Really what person would do that? You are making her to be the issue when the real truth is that your the issue. You have looked at her with a magnifying glass but insted you should be looking in a mirror!! The day you decide for yourself that you are going to be accepting and not conrtolling is the day things start getting better for you. But to be accepting you have to work on your anxieties. outdoor sex
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