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I've been dating a woman for about 7 months. We had our first big argument about a month ago and we worked things out. During the time of that argument I was using her laptop that she didn't need. The day we worked things out I got on the laptop and realized she had not signed out of her. At this point I should have signed her out and moved on but temptation got the best of me so I looked at a few of her. I realized she had contacted one of her ex's to say hello and how his mom was doing. The conversation was harmless i feel and I only had a problem with the end of it. He said he'd like to take her out for lunch some time and her reply was "i have to take you up on that offer one day". He went on to say how she was his first and that he still loves her but she never replied back and to my knowledge she still hasn't. My problem with this is we discussed in detail how there would be no reunions with ex's, no lunches or dinners, she was more adamant about it than I was about this being something that we both should never do. My other problem is this exchange was happening at the same time we were going through our first big argument. So part of me feels like everytime we have issues she'll go running to talk with a ex. It was obvious from the that this ex had no idea she was in a relationship. He also referred to her as and Beautiful which is another thing me and my said was something that is disrespectful when speaking with ex's. My question is it's been over a month since the argument, things are going well, but that conversation stays in my head. Especially when she talks about how ex's need to be kept in check etc..So should I bring this up knowing that she'll get pissed that I was looking at her? Or should I just forget it which I feel be so hard to do? mature lady seeking mature man for Coal City Illinois ltr
I'm sure this has been discussed before. My question is, is it possible for a marriage to heal after an infidelity? My husband and I have been together for over 7 years (married for almost 2). No. He has friends of the opposite sex, but it hasn't really bothered me. If I am bothered by it, I mention it to him. Well, there was a rumor about him and a friend of his (which he initially told me about), and I recently learned more about it. I wanted to make sure with him that there was no truth to the rumor, and if anything had happened, that it would be better to tell me so we could work through it. Well, he admited to sleeping with her and becoming close emotionally. We talked about it some and then I left to spend the night somewhere. I told him, before I left, that I wanted to work out whatever it is/was that caused him to cheat by seeing a marriage counselor. That I wanted to try and fix our relationship. But that I also wanted him to be happy, and if he didn't think that was possible with me, then he should leave. The next morning, he asks me to meet up with him to talk. I started preparing myself for the worst. I'd like to think I'm opptomistic in general, but I didn't want to have a little just to have it squashed by him. Well, we talked, and he said he wanted to try to make our marriage work. I told him, very directly, that it would be hard. I told him I expected him to not continue being friends with the other woman. And he told me that he wanted % honesty, even if I was afraid it might hurt him. I want to try. When he told me he wanted to try, he also told me that meant he would a marriage counselor. But part of me is that the same issues just come back. He's always been a little insecure. I went to school with and work with mostly guys. I have a good guy friend (who is happily married and has never been innapropriate with me). I know that seeing a counselor help us both with the issues we have. Has anyone here been through this and can offer any wisdom? I've lurked on this forum before. I felt it was a good way to learn from other people's mistakes (hence my insistance to a counselor). In case it matters, we are mid to late 20's. looking for a sweet down to Pomona girli think commenting on other threads is characteristic of a discussion forum. i don't think that there was a misunderstanding. voices, opinions, interesting conversation. that's the point, right? chiming in when you have something to share. if i offer an attempt at clarification, it seems to me that flyingdogs is taking both of your experiences into account and commenting accordingly. in the instances where she is commenting on her *own* experience, you are mistaking it for a judgement of *your* experience. men wants for men
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