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fucking Buford s c It does bother me, those were the hardest conversations I've ever had to have. It was beyond hisheartening, on both sides. While it is disgusting and reprehensible, it is because of my family I am where I am in life (despite this current situation) and (despite this situation) my wife is the of my life (even knowing her short comings, as we all have ours). I am capable of forgiveness and desparately want to reconcile both sides, but I think each side is dug in for the haul with no hopes a middle ground. What's so wrong with wanting to address what happened, make ammends, and move on with life together with everyone? Life is too short to stay up and desparately clinging to painful events or the grief and anger people have caused you. If you're not willing to let it go and forgive, you deserve your misery and the miserabel life it besets for you. I know my lack of sympathy is part of the problem with my wife right now. But I know first hand the trauma of sexual as well (actual sexual -), so my empathy leaves me little sympathy for anyone who continues to "live" with the trauma of such events, they just milk it and use it as an excuse to not move on with their lives. I just want both sides to admit what actually happened so we can move on, why is that too much to ask of? Why do people automatiy view the woman as a victim, she has something to gain from false accusations. He has something to gain from denying it. I understand that, we're all adults, why is it too much to ask just to throw it all on the table and sort it out so we can all move on? I might be a whiny bitch for saying that, but I'm the one who loses regardless in any other situation and it pisses me off. looking for long term babygirl status
always have had a problem with being assertive. During dating he found out he could push me and I wouldn't push back. I basiy married my dad. I was afraid of this, and I still am to an extent, for most of our ten year marriage. I was raised with little conflict and my DH was raised being able to argue with his parents. I didn't learn that is was safe to express my opinion, be angry or argue. My husband is kind of scary. He an introverted engineer and can argue circles around me and people. He's so sensitive and touchy that people learn quickly to walk on eggshells around him. I have become MUCH more assertive in the past year and surprisingly, he's backed off quite a bit. He still has the ability to manipulate me and tonight I apologized if I upset him and cringed that I did that. It was on the phone and I felt that old urge to get the connection back. How can this be fixed? I guess, like with the arguing, I have to stop the bulldozing in its tracks, simply refuse it. He seems to thrive in conflict, he even bring up extremely sensitive subjects right in the middle of sex! I simply refuse to even discuss it now or say we can stop and go talk about it outside of bed. So, I guess I am doing much of what I need to be doing, most of the time. It's hard for me because my nature is to be cooperative. I like and getting along. In order to be my own person in this marriage, I have to be willing to fight for my rights, defend myself, stand up to him and win the power struggles by refusing to bend to his. It's stressful. I imagine it's a lot like having a with oppositional defiance disorder. I am guessing that my husband bring the topic up when he's back home. On some level he knows about his issues but he defensively blames everything on others. So this be about me taking an opportunistic jab, not that he actually might have something he should take a look at. My plan is to simply say I realize that have not been the appropriate time to bring that up and not cave. ever just want to play with a cock
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