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Hard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. women hills sexI'm going to assume your husband is about the same age as you. If that's true, then it's one of two things. 1) He's suffering from some kind of medical problem that is going to get worse -or- 2) He's simply not into sex. He should be at his sexual prime right now, which means, plainly put, he should be fucking your brains out on a daily basis. Also, he shouldn't be gaining weight like that. I suggest telling him to a doctor, as this might be a sign of a hypoactive thyroid, and could be a very serious problem. If the doc says he's fine, then you need to get the hell out of that relationship. You know that little tickle in your that whispers in your mind naughty, naughty things? Well, some people are simply not born with that. These people, while still being able to and cherrish someone, have no whatsoever for sex. They just don't think about it. They usually figure out something's wrong at about 15, when all the other people they know are all about sex and they're not. And, I hate to say, they do tend to try to as early as possible. What I'm saying is, if he's one of these people, it's not going to get better. In fact, he'll eventually stop having sex with you all together. matchmakers dating
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