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That you are respected and your opinion valued, considered and trusted. Him shutting down when he doesn't agree and then having to apologize in order to "restart" your relationship makes it feel like its all on YOU to keep this all together. It's a slap in the face. All valid. % valid. The fact is that he's to say what he wants to say when he shuts down. He's afraid of YOUR reaction, that he'd LOSE the battle and HE would be responsible for "restarting" the relationship or worse. This is his method of finishing the fight without having to face those consequences. I'm no better, I have my shit I'm a steamroller I've worked and hard at just shutting the fuck up sometimes and let someone finish their thought completely without turning it into a debate. Doing what I can to stop and realize in the heat of the moment its just my perspective and NOT "right". I'd probably shut someone like your hubby down in a heartbeat. I don't want someone to think I don't value their opinion because I DO, EVEN when I'm disagreeing but it sure doesn't sound that way. I bet he DOES value your opinion A LOT. It means the world to him and THAT is one of the main reasons he fights so fucking hard. Just like you it hurts because he cares not because he doesn't. asian woman only 35 55need to read some of the books recommended and seeking counseling can be very helpful if you both go freely without coercion on either of you. if he should hesitate, don't fault him for it, you go alone. you both need to unlearn destructive communication that have been learned over the years and learn new approaches in communication. that does not happen overnight just with the realization. that is half the battle, the other is the sweat part. that is where the reading and such comes into play. you can not just say i be nice about it, because that is a conviction made with a calm mind. in an argument it is the emotions that rule the moment and not a calm mind. btw not all counselor are created equal, shop around until you find one that you have a rapport with. naughty mature women
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