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- which basiy says Guiliani let the disease fester the same way he did when he was mayor, and hopes to let African countries learn to do the same. which basiy says that even poz magazine can't tell the difference between superinfection and SUPRAinfection. which basiy confirms that the Holy still hates gays and wants us dead, and that Italian media is still afraid to move it's ass to save lives. and lastly: which basiy says that the government can finally start paying attention now that straights are getting it regularly, even if they're black (note the sarcastic tone of my voice). and why not just try this to cure the epidemic: having sex without protection, no matter how safe you think you are, is like: Colchester Vermont casual sex contacts free adsIn practice, it doesn't ever seem to work. I repeat a lot of positive affirmations to myself in my head, only to have the angry, ugly inner voice snark at the affirmations and remind me of how stupid and trite they all are. I'm quite crazy, unfortunately, but intelligent enough to reason/do combat with any kindness I might throw my own way. It would be sort of funny if it didn't keep me so fucking down. You know, sometimes I think "I'll feel sexy if I dress up as he likes and entice him, and spark his interest." But I feel foolish most of the time when I do these days, and I also feel like I'm breaking my promise to myself to NOT be the sexual initiator. It really bothers me when I do that, but honestly the last time he initiated without any hinting from me was A) over a month ago and B) when I was sleeping. Which seems to be the case so frequently! He never demands or requests sex when we're both awake just when he wakes in the middle of the night with an erection. Then I get the feeling he doesn't want me when we're both conscious. :/ But if I made good on my word and never initiated, I'd never get laid. And I'm so incredibly sexual at the core, that I would be even more miserable then than now. I'm so rambly. :/ I just feel a lot of mixed-up bad things right now and I wish I could really make it stop, instead of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA," y'know? sexy mature
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