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And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck a friend to freak withlol I'm just curious- are you unable to use your own appendages to help yourself out? (just so you don't explode in the mean time) You seem to still her- have you tried a conversation and relationship to pick up her interest again? I think we can be gently lulled into a romantic encounter w/ our husbands of years if they are attentive before we all his the sack. You know us female types- we'll harbor things from the past- so unless they've been worked out (via conversation) the resentment just builds. But I know intimacy does help- it's sort of the chicken and egg thing huh? :~ swinger chat
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