Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array 420 black male looking for hosting female or coupleYou Until the end of time, I'll be there for you-you know the rest of the song. I can't hear that song ( and lots of others) without thinking of you. I know you are trying to do the "right" things in your life, but are you sure I'm not supposed to be a part of those things?! So much was left unsaid and unfinished with us, largely due to me trying to do the "right" thing with the WRONG person. If nothing else, I just want to see you with my own eyes while we're both still living..I miss you tons! T older women Fargo North Dakota wanting to fuck seniors wants for sex
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I'm single not because I don't pray for love. Hola, well about myself I'm 21 I attend college and work I love to work out I am a morning person I live outside of city limits. I'm just myself I take one day at a time. I know that god is always by my side well this is it for now just for my preference I like tall men and men that are in shape I am not looking for a one night stand or fwb. just so you know I am 5'8 and but I wear my boots also please know how to keep a conversation and don't give me your number on the first message I will not and send a least but all don't be older than 26 , be taller than 6 ft Memphis east indian guy looking for a friendLooking for something real I am 22 years old. Not into the "party" lifestyle, but enjoy going out and dancing and having a drink. Don't smoke. U workout 6 days a week at planet fitness. I have 2 semesters of left. I am a but not a roller. I'm looking for something real and long term. I don't like clingy, I don't like super nerdy or super fitness or super. Just a nice guy with a job and education who wants to be friends and have a relationship from that. Message me if you are interested. all video free fucking Miami Florida completely free online dating
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